An Obituary For The Brother Who Was Murdered Via Text On St. Patrick’s Day

Dent7 years ago

In Loving Memory Of Brad

On Saturday, March 17, 2018 we lost a great brother, friend, and totally down dude. Bradley Wilson was hanging with his friends and enjoying the day of green when bad luck struck. Around 2:30 p.m., while proudly donning an Irish For A Day cutoff T-shirt and existing in a moment that he described as “peak living,” Brad met his fateful demise.

In an apparent lapse of judgement stemming from an overconsumption of green beer and Jameson, Brad overconfidently approached an “ultrababe” at Shooter’s Bar on Oak Street. The subsequent events included a streak of misfortunate that others have described as “the greatest curve of all time.” A barrage of text messages from his loving girlfriend, who was informed of the event shortly after, led to the young man’s untimely death. We will not be releasing footage of the incident in question, but know it resembled this:

RIP to the guy on the receiving end (@Broseph_lee)

A post shared by TFM (@totalfratmove) on Mar 6, 2018 at 5:41pm PST

Brad was known to love participating in spirited games of Fortnite, killing kegs of Natty, and shooting the shit with his fraternity brothers. He was described by those who knew him as an ambitious fellow who fully personified the saying “shooters shoot.” He will be greatly missed by all of those who got to know his raging self.

Brad leaves behind his parents (Bob and Kim), fraternity brothers (Tanner, Caleb, Carter, Blake, Shields, and the rest of those assholes), ex-girlfriend Sarah, that girl from Shooter’s Bar, and a handful of drunken hookups.

In lieu of flowers, his family has asked that donations be made in his name to the Don’t Be A Brad Awareness Center..