Opinion: The 2012 Election And Why You Shouldn’t Care

The 2012 election is almost here. It’s that glorious time of year when all the late night viewers get to call in to their favorite reality TV shows and vote for the douche bag they hate the least. Everyone gets so worked up about it. It’s like that simple division between red and blue that is the basis for every major soccer riot of all time. I call it soccer because this is America and all the Euros HATE the fact that football is way better than soccer.

Let me start off by saying that I hate President Obama. However, I also hate Mitt Romney. Both of these candidates are terrible “choices” and the fact that they are competing for the most powerful position in the free world is a joke in and of itself.

Two party politics in America is the biggest illusion of all time. The Republican and Democratic parties have both merged so far to the middle that they can hardly be distinguished any more. They differ over a few highly charged emotional issues, but ultimately there’s only one party in America: the status quo. And believe me, it’s a lame fucking party. It’s a huge cock fest and they ran out of booze like fifty years ago.

The President of the United States is a figurehead. He’s just like the Queen of England. There’s no real power. It’s all for show. He’s a dildo. He can get the job done, but there’s something lifeless and fake about it. By himself, he’s useless. The real power lies in the handlers. You must come to see that the dildo is not to blame. It’s the people holding the dildo, ramming you in the ass with it. Those are the fuckers you gotta watch out for.

The puppet masters mold the man into the perfect image of what they think people will like. It’s all about ratings. If you want to know who’s running things, look for the massive campaign donations from corporations and individuals who stand to profit from the election.

I’m sick of people arguing about which candidate is better. The candidates are actors. They are just reading a script. They aren’t real. The election has been taken over by MTV and the sole purpose is to create as much drama as possible. The goal is to keep people as uninformed about reality as possible. And it’s working…

Six corporations control 90% of American media. Think about that for a moment because it’s fucking insane. Six corporations control 90% of everything you read, watch, and listen to. Want to know who controls the elections? Look at who controls the coverage of the elections. It’s not a difficult mental leap.

Luckily, TFM falls into the 10% of heathen media outside of mega corporate control, but believe me, if a superPAC approached me and offered me a briefcase full of cash to endorse a particular candidate, I would do it in a heartbeat. I’m a whore for money and I have no shame about it. It’s that simple character flaw that allows me to see the same character flaw in society as a whole, especially in politics and “unbiased” news reporting.

What the candidates disagree on is not important. Look at what they do agree on. That’s the key. That’s why third party candidates talking about real issues get no attention in the lamestream media. Both Romney and Obama support provisions in the National Defense Authorization Act that allows the government to indefinitely detain US citizens without trial. You want to talk conspiracy theories? That’s not a theory, that’s a fucking a fact. Google it, I’m not making shit up.

Why isn’t any body talking about that? The NDAA is the greatest civil rights tragedy in American history and neither candidate remotely gives a shit. That’s because their handlers don’t want them to talk about it. They don’t want you to think about it. That’s why American politics don’t matter anymore. It doesn’t matter who you vote for, because both candidates support draconian policies that will move America towards an authoritarian corporate police state.

The only solution that I can see is the resurgence of a viable third party alternative. Unfortunately, there are still millions of uninformed old people that don’t know about the internets. They get all their opinions from six corporations who spend billions of dollars on campaigns to make people see the world through red and blue lenses. Until people wake up and see the two party deception for what it is, voting for a third party is essentially a waste of a vote.

Many people don’t even vote for the candidate they like and identify with. Lots of people just vote for the guy that they hate the least. Picking the lesser of two evils is no way for the greatest nation on Earth to conduct its elections. Hopefully, when enough people realize that the Republican and Democratic parties are both full of shit, a third party alternative might become a possibility. Until then, choose red or blue and shut the fuck up. It’s just two sides to the same coin, so who gives a shit.

On November 6th, I’m going to vote for Romney. Not because I believe he is a quality candidate, but because if he’s elected he will immediately start campaigning for 2016. He’s not going to do anything too drastic that will upset future voters. If Obama gets re-elected, he gets a blank check to stop giving a fuck. Two-term presidents are dangerous to civil liberties. Two-term presidents don’t need to worry about re-election. Obama can bukkake our freedom all he wants without repercussions. What are we going to do, impeach the first black president? White guilt won’t stand for that.

In these times of fake politics, I’d rather have a new guy walking on eggshells for the next four years. I’d rather vote for the actor that makes it more difficult for the Illuminati to enslave us all. I’d rather vote for Romney, because, well, anyone would be better than Obama.

Romney supePAC, please make your check payable to RAGE THEORY, INC.
It’s been a pleasure doing business with you.


    1. TopShelfnTopSiders

      ^This, its about goddamn time that someone says something about this shit. I’ve been trying to make people aware of this for a few months now. Actually FUCKING surprised that TFM would publish something like this. Thank you Rage, the world needs more people like you.. who actually give a shit about whats going on in the world and trying to make things better. Your founders, whoever they may be, would be proud. Frat on sir, frat on.

      12 years ago at 8:43 am
  1. The Baron

    Gentlemen, this is the exact reason why Term Limits need to be instituted in every single political office no matter the scope or size. Fresh blood, fresh ideas, and consistent turnover of political personnel will do this great country of our wonders.

    12 years ago at 3:53 pm
    1. A Frattest H

      Not entirely true. If we have a quick and constant turnover rate of politicians, the policies that one passes can be (and likely will be) quickly repealed by the next to hold that position. That could mark the end to any and all long term action and policy and that would leave us much worse off.

      12 years ago at 4:19 pm
    2. Plan B is Plan A

      Leglislative term limits are a bad, bad, bad idea. In any industry, the people with the most experience are generally the most competent and effective at their job – politics is no different. It’s not a coincidence that the States with the most dysfunctional governments (California, Michigan, etc) have strict term limits for legislators. What happens when you kick people out of the assembly after two terms is that they have no incentive to work on big issues that take a long time to solve. They just sponsor a bunch of quick-fix bills that sound pretty and pass easily but do nothing because they need shit to pad their resume with for their next job after they leave office. You need representatives to have long careers in the legislature so that they can build relationships and do their job effectively.

      12 years ago at 4:36 pm
    3. FrattKuchar

      ^^Perfectly stated. One of the main reasons that we have so much partisanship in congress right now is that Tea Party legislators elected in 2010 don’t know shit about politics. The only way to ever get anything done in politics is to compromise and that is exactly what they, and Obama(equally inexperienced), have failed to realize.

      12 years ago at 5:09 pm
  2. USAFATO

    As a member of the Air Force, it disturbs me that a President can take control without having ever served in the Armed Forces. This is a serious issue that needs to be fixed.

    12 years ago at 4:04 pm
    1. War Damn USA

      ^No way a man with no military background should be the head of the military.

      12 years ago at 4:15 pm
    2. Plan B is Plan A

      Nearly half of our Presidents had never set foot anywhere near a combat zone during their lives – before during or after their administration. Are you saying that guys like Jefferson, Madison, Reagan, and Bush had no business being commander in chief?

      12 years ago at 4:45 pm
    3. USAFATO

      I think that all four of those men did an outstanding job as President, in their given time periods. I believe now, more than ever, if somebody is to lead a nation they need to have strong moral fiber, unwavering principles, and honesty. The presidents you listed demonstrated these characteristics a hell of a lot more than either Romney or Obama are able to. This column hit the nail on the head, the presidency is no longer a seat within our government to make drastic changes and help the general public, but a mask to present the appearance of our freedoms from our constitution remaining in place, which are slowly flickering away. I think a president should have to serve in the Armed Forces because of the virtues and principles they can instill into people. How can somebody make an informed decision about the military or its people when they have no experience in the military. There is a disgusting amount of under the table “quid pro quo” deals being made to put one face or another onto this mask to benefit these media tycoons the column is talking about. I have no problem with people using capitalism to make all the money they can. If somebody isn’t happy with their life or job, change it. and if somebody isn’t happy with America, get the fuck out. If a fucking sea turtle came out tomorrow and fixed our economy, I would vote for him to be Commander in Chief, but, we all have stories.

      12 years ago at 7:52 pm
    1. Douglas MacArthur

      In 4 years he’ll be 81 years old…yeah, don’t think so. Maybe Rand will run.

      12 years ago at 6:57 pm
    2. FraternityinAmerica

      Ron Fucking Paul. I am terrified of Obama getting re-elected, but I think it would finally force the GOP to pull its head out of its ass and realize that the party needs to change to be able to compete in this century. For fucks sake, they nominated Romney for president! He has signed an assault weapons ban, created romneycare, and will continue the outrageous spending just like the last republican presidents have.

      12 years ago at 5:15 pm
    1. high kapp

      Yeah, just a bunch of pothead geeds smoking themselves to where they’ll believe anything conspiracy theorists can spew out so they don’t realize what is actually going on. CONSPIRACEPTION

      12 years ago at 5:58 pm
    2. FrattayLite

      Dead on with that comment. Definantly a pot smoker, long hair, conspiracy theory.

      12 years ago at 9:44 pm
    3. TopShelfnTopSiders

      Why don’t you do some legitimate research, before spewing shit out of your ass that you have been force fed by your society? This is one of, if not the most significant column TFM has posted and all you can do is dismiss it as “GDI conspiracy theory”. Either get your head out of your ass, do some research, and make a change.. or go back to living the complacent ignorant life of a sheep

      12 years ago at 8:52 am
    1. Georgedoublya

      I do not like Obama because he sucks dick as a president. And also I am slightly racist. But I’m not too much of a fan of mormons either. Fuck em both. Bush 2012

      12 years ago at 7:15 pm
    2. Drill_Fratboy_Drill

      ^ you can’t trust people who wear crazy underwear and never drink booze

      12 years ago at 1:26 am