Our 10 Most Viral Pieces of 2016

TFM Staff8 years ago

Sam Kendricks is not only a United States Olympian; he is also a 2nd Lieutenant in the United States Army Reserves with the 655th Transportation Company and a graduate of Ole Miss. In front of a crowd of thousands, Kendricks took home the bronze medal in the pole vault for this fine country. However, that’s not the only story about Kendricks to come out of Rio.

Having a girl sounds like a god damn nightmare. Girls (and guys) were sharing the sluttiest things they’ve ever done on Reddit. It’s frightening to think about what some of these daughters are capable of.

1. Be younger than us.
2. Make us work for it. But only a little bit.
3. Hook our friends up with your friends.

I’m the type of guy who always goes down. Not only do I love doing it, but there’s absolutely no way my 4-inch dude piston is going to do any sort of damage on its lonesome. Does this make me a people pleaser? Possibly. Unfortunately, my cunnilingus habit could cut me down just as swiftly — and in the same manner — as my smoking habit.

The video, which we can’t post or link to for obvious reasons, was filmed through a window. It shows penetration. Both subjects are wearing shirts, but neither is wearing pants. This style of sexual intercourse is known in some circles as “the Pooh Bear.” The above screenshot is from the video.

We’re fairly certain this Donald Trump/Kid Rock mashup video is the highest form of satire. Then again, it may just be the highest form of American Badass-ery. You be the judge. Either way, it’s the best video we’ve seen in years.

The video is infuriating because this guy sucks. Because this guy is an asshole. Because this guy is millennial scum. Because this guy is fabricating a racist storyline and attempting to expose innocent people to gain exposure and promote his personal brand. Because this guy is exploiting perhaps the most sensitive sociological issue in the world today for his own personal gain, and at the expense of others.

“As a girl who writes for this site, the most frequent comment I get on a column — regardless of the topic — is “SHOW US YOUR TITS!” I appreciate you asking, I really do. Maybe if I knew you a bit better, I’d consider it.”

All of my questions have been answered. I wondered for so long if he’d have the bleach blonde hair, earrings, the sweet goatee. It turns out he has none of that — just a sweet fucking mullet.

Bomb ass filets and salmon, post-dinner cigars, getting the middle finger with an accompanying “fuck you” from Selena Gomez — mannnnn, Moms’ Weekend was electric this year.