Panama City Beach Looks Depressing As Hell After Banning Alcohol On Beaches

El Taco9 years ago

Remember when going to Panama City Beach was cool? Sadly, the former go-to choice for college spring breakers appears to have its best days behind it. After banning alcohol on beaches two years ago, PCB is sticking to its guns and doing the same this year. Some college students, though, apparently either didn’t get the memo or they enjoy spring breaks that suck ass.

Is that so, Patricia? I too enjoy living, but I’m here for a good time, not a long time. Thank you for your input though, ya wet blanket.

If I’ve got the choice between spending spring break in Panama City Beach and spending it getting punched in the face repeatedly by Mike Tyson for a week straight, you can bet your sweet tits I’m going with the latter. Tyson is the GOAT.

I still can’t wrap my head around the city’s decision to ban alcohol and drive out spring breakers. Not only is PCB’s nightlife taking a hit because no more 19-year-olds are there to go clubbing anymore, but I’m sure the city’s police, firefighters, and EMTs are bored as hell making constant trips to the nursing homes to transport 90-year-old diabetics to the hospital rather than 20-year-old idiots to the drunk tank. Spring breakers provided some excitement to their jobs and brought the first responders back to the good old days when they, too, got too drunk and stabbed someone from a rival fraternity. All in good fun.

Alas, they’re on to other problems now.

From WJHG:

Parts of Panama City Beach are under a rabies alert after two raccoons in the area were found carrying the rabies virus. “Rabies is a deadly disease. There’s no cure,” Douglas Kent, Administrator for the Bay County Department of Health, said.

Good god, PCB. Look what you’ve done. You went from worrying about the spread of herpes and “the clap” to fucking rabies. Zero to 100 real quick. You really screwed the rabies-infested pooch this time. Good luck with that one..

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[via WJHG, WJHG]

Image via WJHG