PCB Bans Alcohol On Beach During Spring Break 2016 And You Only Have Yourselves To Blame
No alcohol will be allowed on the sands of Panama City Beach next year during spring break after the most no-brainer move in the history of the state of Florida was passed on Tuesday night. I’ve been trying to tell you spring break beach punks that your lewd behavior is going to catch up to you eventually, and now it has.
There are only so many public sex acts and fist fights and titty flashes and crotch groping and hardcore drug ingesting and STD swapping you can do on that beach before the authorities step in and pull the plug on the whole operation. You only have yourselves to blame, too. You know that, right? Actually, you should thank them. Futures are ruined on that beach. Maybe yours will now be preserved.
From AL.com:
After years of discussion, months of loud public outcry and a battle of dueling t-shirts, the Panama City Beach City Council unanimously approved a motion Tuesday night to ban alcohol consumption on the beaches during March 2016, the peak of the college spring break season.
The council voted 5-0 in favor of the ban in the closing minutes of a three-hour council meeting that took place at the Arnold High School auditorium rather than the usual city council chambers to accommodate the hundreds of residents who wanted to weigh in on the proposals.
Members of the group Citizens for a New Panama City Beach erupted into applause after the vote was taken.
You see that? They ERUPTED into applause once the vote tally was announced. And you know why, don’t you? You damn heathens with your skimpy bikinis and your tallywackers not staying put away in your swim trunks. “Oh look, we made it to the beach. Let’s drink ourselves into a coma and make decisions that could potentially derail the rest of our lives and drive our parents toward depression and alcoholism.” Idiots.
Look at how you animals behave out there:
Monsters. By the time I have kids in college, I hope spring break is canceled all together. Yeah I said it!.
[via AL.com]
Dorn, we know how much you’ve enjoyed yourself on Spring Break
11 years ago at 4:12 pmWow, that’s some JohnRedcorn level shit right there.
11 years ago at 4:44 pmI miss JohnRedcorn
11 years ago at 5:47 pmAgreed. He went out on top.
11 years ago at 7:06 pmFrotal has been trolling KyBlackouts comment history and posting his old gifs. Too bad that sick son of a bitch hasn’t been around in a while.
11 years ago at 5:48 pmJust helping these new kids see some of the classics
11 years ago at 8:08 amWe need a new spring break capital now.
11 years ago at 4:12 pmGulf Shores, Gentlemen. That’s the name of the game.
11 years ago at 11:54 pmLooks like I get to transfer that extra PCB gas money over to my alcohol slush fund since Gulf Shores and Orange Beach are much closer. Or, we put our heads together and use common sense and pour our beverages into unmarked containers just like back in our respective college towns in order to avoid a public intoxication citation.
11 years ago at 4:14 pmThe signs in PCB said “No drinking on the sandy beach”.
Solution: drink all your alcohol while floating in the water.
11 years ago at 4:15 pmLoopholes. TFM
11 years ago at 4:30 pmFt Lauerdale did the same exact shit in the 80s it’s still affecting them –
March 1985: 350,000 visitors
March 2006: 10,000 visitors
The average spring breaker spends $1,100 on their vacation
What a bunch of fucking idiots. See y’all in Punta Cana.
11 years ago at 4:15 pmStop telling us to stop drinking so much ya crusty ole pedophile fuck
11 years ago at 4:16 pmFuck you, Dorn. Unless you and your gay boyfriend adopt you aren’t having kids so that last statement won’t matter. #dornsapussy
11 years ago at 4:17 pmOh dude, you roasted me.
11 years ago at 4:25 pmTry harder… On weirdgeeds.com.
11 years ago at 12:59 amDorn, for that last comment, I hope you have hot twin daughters who love vodka.
11 years ago at 4:22 pm
11 years ago at 4:32 pmDorn you have only commented in gifs today. Good job putting your writing skills to good use.
11 years ago at 4:35 pmHey man, when you’re blessed with such a strong gif game, it would be almost criminal not to let it shine
11 years ago at 4:45 pmMust have been a journalism major.
11 years ago at 5:38 pmDon’t worry, I’m sure they’ll be good, Christian girls on their knees for me every night.
11 years ago at 4:51 pmYou’re terrible, you know that?
11 years ago at 5:41 pmPlease get some new material. The Pharisees said that to me thousands of years ago.
11 years ago at 8:04 pmHardly phare
11 years ago at 3:16 amThe chance of Dorn having sex with a women is less likely than the possibility of him conceiving twins.
11 years ago at 8:30 pmMathematically impossible. YOU’RE WRONG!!!!1!!!one!!!!!!
11 years ago at 9:26 pmWhat the hell are you trying to say?
11 years ago at 1:33 amThe “mathematically impossible” part was a simple statement of fact. The chances of Dorn conceiving twins is a fraction of the chances of him having sex with a woman, obviously. Can’t conceive anything, much less twins, without having sex first. (I mean, I guess there’s in vitro, but whatever.) The “YOU’RE WRONG!!!!1!!!one!!!!!!” part was a poor attempt at being funny.
11 years ago at 12:14 pmBoth of you shut the fuck up.
11 years ago at 3:18 amNot a problem for lsu
11 years ago at 4:23 pmI hear they’ve got a spot open for you at PGP, Dorn
11 years ago at 4:31 pmHe does write for PGP
11 years ago at 4:36 pm