Pelicans Swoop Down, Cause Chaos at Pepperdine University Graduation

El Taco7 years ago

What to do if you trip on stage? What to do if your name isn’t called? What to do if your hangover quickly goes south? There are all sorts of worst-case scenarios going through your head during graduation, but “what to do when pelicans attack” likely isn’t one you’d expect to add to the list. However, that was exactly the case at a Pepperdine University graduation ceremony in California, because, ya know, beach problems.

This was essentially real-life Jurassic Park and, if it’s any indication, we’re all seriously screwed should velociraptors make a comeback. Just look around. Men are laughing and playing with it. Women are running away screaming. The security detail decides to poke it ‘til it attacks. My guess is about 98 percent of that crowd gets picked off during a velociraptor attack. The surviving two percent will only be around because they were intentionally left so they’d go tell the others what happened.

Lesson learned: If your college is located next to the Pacific Ocean and the weather is gorgeous day after day, then keep your graduation ceremonies indoors because you’re a bunch of ungrateful twats. I’m still wearing a damn winter jacket here..