The Perks Of Being In A Bottom-Tier Fraternity

GrimaceGT1826 years ago

Back in April, I wrote an article about life in a god-forsaken bottom-tier fraternity. While most of my time there felt wasted, there were a few perks that made life a bit more bearable.

1. Nobody Gave a Shit

Being in the bottom-tier, no one really gave a damn about who we were or what we did (other than after a few major upsets during Greek Week). This means we got away with shit. Nine times out of ten if something happened in the Greek community, it meant that one of the more high-up fraternities was getting blamed for it; nobody ever suspected the bottom-tier houses. We could pull pranks and steal shit from around campus and no one ever suspected we were the culprits; they would immediately blame the big dogs. If they made Revenge of the Nerds V it’d be based on our story.

2. More Room At Parties

Being at a small school in the middle of what was basically Siberia in North America meant that the party life was lacking. Because there were never a ton of options, any time a legitimate fraternity threw a house party they’d always fill up quick. This actually played in our favor. People would leave bigger parties and come to our parties just to get a little breathing room. They’d show up with their own booze, play some beer pong while appreciating the fact that they weren’t nuts to butts, and then head out (most likely to the next party). Great arrangement for us. Obviously not ideal, but hey — at least we didn’t have the 300-pound defensive lineman sweating all over everyone in a packed room.

3. Lower Standards

Because no one gave a shit about us, we could fly under radars in the Greek community, on campus, and with nationals, who barely gave us any attention so long as the dues check was cashed on time. There was no pressure to put on a good face for anyone, recruit “studs,” or… regarding anything, really. Think of Delta Tau Chi from Animal House, but without Dean Wormer breathing down their necks. Most of the time, nobody had any idea we even existed. Wait, did we even exist? It hard to say.

Okay, so these perks weren’t much to write home about. Honestly, now I’m feeling even worse about my decision. The fucking Harry Potter club had a better party life than us. Shit.

Do your homework, kiddos..