Philadelphia Flyers Fans Feed “Classless” City Reputation, Throw Bracelets Honoring Dead Owner Onto Ice

Dan Regester9 years ago

It’s getting increasingly hard to be a Philadelphia sports fan. Not only have we had to deal with teams ranging from mediocre to complete flaming bags of shit for the better part of the last decade, but we’ve had to be this laughing stock of a city all while the national media has spun a rhetoric that we’re vile, malicious beasts who revel in both masochism and the suffering of others. They act like we’re the only town that takes passion for sports a bit too far. For fuck’s sake, people get stabbed every Giants/Dodgers series and no one blinks an eye. But Philly? If we do something, it’s held against us for the rest of our miserable lives. We get it. We threw snowballs at a shoddy Santa fifty years ago. Get some new material, you hacks.

What’s that? Something happened at the Flyers game tonight?

Wristbands, huh? That seems like a good idea. A bunch of boozed up fans already on edge down 2-0 in the series. Really hope this game doesn’t get out of hand and people start slinging these things with no regard for mankind. Oh, these are to honor the late Ed Snider? We can be assholes from time to time, but we’re not monsters. R.I.P. Eddy. Let’s hold a moment of silence for you, my man.

Sweet baby Jesus. Have some damn respect you jabronis. That…that was not a good look. But it can’t get worse than that, right?

We’ve done it now, guys. Not only did we just piss all over Ed Snider’s grave and give the national media another 100 years of material to fuel the “terrible fans” rhetoric, but we broke P.A. announcer, Lou Nolan. He’s so defeated. So heartbroken. You assholes might have just put poor, sweet, old Louie into the ground as well. This is officially rock bottom..