(PHOTO) Mizzou Parent’s Weekend Ends With Some Poor Sorority Girl’s Dad Crapping Himself At Fraternity House
12 years ago

Parents can be so embarrassing, amiright? It’s like, you’re trying to have fun with your friends and then all of a sudden, someone runs into the room and goes, “OMG your dad is passed out and leaking feces, I think he might have just drunk himself to death!” and then you’re all, “ZOMG, Dad, are you kidding me?!?!?! You’re ruining my life!” Long story short: Worst. Parents weekend. Eh-ver.

Below is a photo of the aftermath of a dad’s explosive reaction to alcohol poisoning, which came to fruition at a fraternity that would very much like to remain nameless, and understandably so. Though to be fair, I don’t see how anyone could rationally hold a group of kids responsible for the actions of a grown, dumbass man. Then again, people who run Greek Life at most schools aren’t exactly rational.

According to a tipster, the pooper is the father of sorority girl who was at their fraternity house and whom I will keep as anonymous as possible, because this is pretty unfortunate. Hey, at least dad made it to the bathroom before slipping into his Bud Light induced death throes. I really hope for the sake of everyone involved that the girl didn’t take her dad to El Rancho the night before. If so this isn’t an “embarrassing scene” so much as it is a toxic disaster. I’m talking like someone let the BP oil spill people try to fix the Fukushima reactor, bad.

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That’s a nightmare. Sorry, pledges. As you can see, there appears to some blood mixed in with the crap schmear, which speaks to the intensity of this blackout shit storm, which I’m going to grade an F4. The boxers are completely toast as well, though there couldn’t have been much hope for those in the first place.

I really hope this isn’t a glimpse into my future.

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  2. Party_Pat

    I lost it at “which speaks to the intensity of this blackout shit storm” hahaha

    12 years ago at 3:06 pm
  4. SECdominance

    I’m imagining 5 gagging pledges cleaning up the shit off the floor while being called pieces of shit

    12 years ago at 3:28 pm
    1. camoD

      That’s all? I think they could use a toothbrush or two to help get all that shit off the floor.

      12 years ago at 4:56 pm
  5. IotaKappa771

    This is definitely a glimpse into your future, Bacon, and you damn well know it.

    12 years ago at 3:37 pm
  8. American

    After reading that first paragraph, I had to double-check the author on this one…Could have sworn it was Hot Piece at first…

    12 years ago at 4:04 pm
  10. Broston Tea Party

    The ‘Fujita’ scale for tornadoes is no longer used. On Feb. 1, 2007, the ‘EF’ scale came into existence. Essentially, tornadoes are no longer ranked on wind speed alone, but on a scale of wind speed in relation to structural damage to buildings and vegetation (e.g., if a 2×4 is hurled through a tree).

    12 years ago at 4:48 pm
    1. Broston Tea Party

      One of my main passions in life is meteorology, so I just wanted to do a little clarification on the proper tornado scale. EF stands for ‘Enhanced Fujita.’

      12 years ago at 6:08 pm
    2. jack d

      It really doesn’t make much difference, everyone still drops the E. They mean the same thing.

      12 years ago at 7:07 pm