Pike Scavenger Hunt Checklist Found At Columbia University, New Sex Act Revealed
The below scavenger hunt checklist was found, according to a tipster that notified the Columbia University publication Bwog, next to a printer, presumably in a campus library, classroom or computer lab of some sort — also presumably by a pledge, who all seem to have the same innate propensity to fuck up at all costs. Who else would be given a list of points-accruing tasks to accomplish that includes items like stealing a hobo’s shoe, piggy-back riding “fat girls,” or upper-decking the toilet at a fancy establishment?
Here’s the list from the Pi Kappa Alpha chapter at Columbia University:
I’d like to bring attention to a few items:
1 copy of tentacle-port video (Hentai or live-action): 5 points
Apparently, tentacle porn is intercourse between an octopus or squid and a female, like the human kind, and it’s usually nonconsensual. It’s squid rape, basically. And it’s disturbing enough that something of this nature actually exists (it does, I looked it up), but the “live-action” option really throws me off. Sick, sick people.
Matt Wang’s glasses: 10 points
This Matt Wang guy must be a real asshole. To be the only person called out by name on this checklist — a list that features some pretty fucked up and degrading shit — he’s got to be biggest square in New York. This makes me really want to know more about Matt Wang. I have to know if he’s as big of a knob as I imagine he is. And if I should continue hating Matt Wang as I’m starting to right now. That four-eyed freak.
Man, screw Matt Wang.
Baby Cat: 20 points
So irresponsible. Who’s gonna take care of this thing? And 20 points!? Finding a kitten is worth twice as many points as convincing fat girls to let you ride them piggy-back style…while racing…and filming it?
Upper-decking the toilet of a fancy restaurant or hotel: 5 points
Five points is simply not enough for this one. Going top deck is a flagrant violation of basic humanity. Someone’s got to fish that turd out of there, man. This is at least a 15-pointer.
Rakob’s soul: 99 points
Anyone know who/what Rakob is? I’d like a backstory here.
And finally…
Video of a pledge poonspeeding (eating pussy while wearing a swimcap and goggles): 25 points
A new sex act is revealed: poonspeeding. I wonder if Matt Wang has ever poonspeeded (poonsped?). That poonspeeding son of a bitch is going to need some corrective goggles for this.
[via Bwog]
Saw Pike in the headline, didn’t even bother reading. Fuck Pike
12 years ago at 11:36 am^ Gets it
12 years ago at 12:20 pm^^ has nothing better to do than talk shit through a keyboard
12 years ago at 12:37 pmIt’s not shit though. Fuck Pike.
12 years ago at 12:56 pmthe only shit I see here is Pike.
12 years ago at 3:52 pmmove along fellas
Someones pissed about not getting a bid from his first choice.
12 years ago at 12:01 pm^ That’s the same with everyone that’s not a pike
12 years ago at 1:48 amPike is gayer than AIDS.
12 years ago at 11:37 amGayer than getting HPV from being gang raped by San Francisco hobos.
12 years ago at 11:44 amThey found a cure for HIV, we need something Gayer than AIDS now to link to PIKE.
12 years ago at 11:59 amPike is gayer than Richard Simmons slobbing on a bag of rainbow colored dicks.
12 years ago at 12:22 pmNope.. Pike is about as gay as it gets.
12 years ago at 10:04 pmWhat the hell is Rakob’s Soul and why ss it worth 99 points?
12 years ago at 11:40 amI’m going to go with a ginger that is in the pledge class.
12 years ago at 12:36 pm^ Fucking this
12 years ago at 12:27 pmBrilliant. PIKE is a great organization. Everyone talking trash never seems to throw their own organization out there.
12 years ago at 11:41 amFUCK PIKE
12 years ago at 1:02 pm^point and case
12 years ago at 11:16 pm“The name’s Wang. Matt Wang. I’m a first-string varsity poonspeeder at Columbia.”
12 years ago at 11:44 amThey deserve to get caught if they were using a school printer.
12 years ago at 11:48 amTFTC
12 years ago at 12:02 pmI’ll give them points for this. McSorley’s old ale house is FaF, have to buy beers two at a time there.
12 years ago at 11:51 amSurprised butt chugging wasn’t on there
12 years ago at 12:00 pmusing a school printer like a dumb ass
12 years ago at 12:15 pmYou poonspeeding son of a bitch! You old sailor you!
12 years ago at 12:21 pm