Power Ranking The Hottest Sororities In America
The other day, I went down a rabbit hole of sorority Tumblrs. It wasn’t my proudest moment, but it got me thinking. Which sororities are the hottest when you combine all of their talents from every chapter? Which ones become more watered down as you throw in more and more chapters?
With hot girls swimming in my head and one hell of a problem to solve, I went to work. I spent countless hours in a dark room studying hundreds upon thousands of photographs, breaking down the Xs and Os, the ins and outs of each sorority, their strengths and weaknesses, and everything in between. You’d think I was Jon Gruden, only instead of watching grown men, I was looking at college girls. Needless to say, Gruden is getting a raw deal compared to me.
After pencil diving into a pool of pure sex, I was able to come up with these very objective rankings. I didn’t have to do it for you guys, but I wanted to. I’m a man of the people, after all.
10. Kappa Alpha Theta
Images via Tumblr/Kentucky Theta, Tumblr/Florida State Theta, Tumblr/Arizona State Theta, Tumblr/Arizona Theta
I would disappoint them so hard.
10 years ago at 1:39 pmGreat joke. I’ve never heard it
10 years ago at 2:21 pmYour mom never heard it before.
10 years ago at 2:28 pmPut them all on one page dip shit
10 years ago at 1:44 pmAlso, Power Rankings based on hot famous alumni wouldn’t hurt either.
10 years ago at 9:13 pmWhere’s AGD?
10 years ago at 1:47 pmNot on the list, obviously.
10 years ago at 2:08 pmAlpha Grabba Donut?
10 years ago at 10:04 pmwho?
10 years ago at 12:14 pmMust be a heartless soul-sucker to join ΑΦ. Facts.
10 years ago at 1:50 pmhappens at your school too?
i wonder what the fuck is in their pledge program that turns nice girls into trash
10 years ago at 4:58 pmI think ZTA is up there too, always awful people…great in the sack though.
10 years ago at 2:31 amIf it burns when you pee, she’s an alpha phi.
10 years ago at 6:54 pmDamn son, but they are like your motto but backwards.
10 years ago at 10:02 pmScum of Panhellenics everywhere.
10 years ago at 3:55 pmDG ranked 7th? The fuck is this shit?
10 years ago at 1:54 pmAgreed. I think DG, KD and Tri Delt are interchangeable anywhere in the top 5.
10 years ago at 2:12 pmAnd to think, all these girls have dads.
10 years ago at 2:03 pmThe Break Down:
Total Schools Listed in Credits: 25
10 years ago at 2:06 pmSorority School Credited the Most: ARIZONA (4)
Sorority School Credited Second Most: ASU, TCU and FSU (3)
Schools in the South: 14 (56%)
Schools in the West: 7 (28%)
Schools in the North: 2 (8%)
Schools in Texas: 2 (8%)
Bear down
10 years ago at 3:46 pmI would like to have sexual relations with every one of those women
10 years ago at 2:07 pmThat’s our Bill!! *cue 80s sitcom audience laugh and roll credits
10 years ago at 2:01 amGtfo
10 years ago at 10:28 pm10 pages worth of reminders to pray every day that i wont have an attractive daughter in the future
10 years ago at 2:07 pmIf it hurts to pee, it’s an ΑΦ
10 years ago at 2:07 pmAlpha Flea
10 years ago at 12:15 pmAlpha Feces
Nothing gets you itchier than poison ivy