Power Ranking The Top 5 “Big Time In Hollywood, FL” Characters

Rob Fox11 years ago

The characters of “Big Time In Hollywood in Hollywood, FL” essentially boil down to three types: the dumb and destructive, the clueless and exasperated (and usually the victims of the dumb and destructive), and the smart but helpless.

The series’ protagonists Jack and Ben? As dumb as you would expect two 30-year-olds living at home with their parents in Florida to be, and willing to destroy everything and everyone to stay that way. Their dad, Alan, and their best friend Del? They’re like an Oklahoma trailer park in the path of those two perpetually adolescent tornadoes. They never stood a chance. Then you have the boys’ mother, Diana, who senses something is wrong, but can’t really do anything to stop it no matter how good her intentions are, because like the dinosaurs in “Jurassic Park,” her worthless boys’ lives, will, uh, ah, find a way… to rampage and kill.

5. Diana

She’s the only one trying to rein in and help Jack and Ben, and you get the feeling that maybe she can get through to Ben, at least, who seems like he might have possibly an ounce of humanity. Still, the strict but caring mother is fighting a losing battle with her boys, because even when she tries to help, an innocent man is riddled with a hundred federal bullets.

4. Ben

If Jack had never existed, Ben would probably have just turned into his dad, Alan. He would’ve had a mediocre nine-to-five job, a controlling but attractive wife, a nice house, etc. That is both a testament to how secretly nice Ben is, and how much of a total loser his dad is, because somehow it seems like Ben is better off living in the sick, twisted Floridian Neverland he and his brother created than ending up like his dad. I’m starting to get the fervent hate, guys.

3. Alan

Jack and Ben’s father either possesses superhuman patience, or potentially fatal obliviousness (it seems like it might really kill him), because nothing else explains how deals with the ceaseless shit hailstorm that is his life. Being erroneously accused of molesting his children over the dinner table seems like exactly the sort of thing that happens to him on a regular basis.

2. Jack

Jack is both a mastermind and pure, reactionary anarchy. Like the Joker in The Dark Knight — if the the Joker had still lived with his parents and dreamt of fame — Jack’s plan seems like it’s simply to let chaos take care of the details, and to unleash said chaos on a whim. He will gladly watch everything burn in order to get what he wants. Also, erroneously accusing his father of molesting him and his brother seems like exactly the sort of thing he does on a regular basis.

1. Del

Poor, sweet, innocent, dumb-faced Del. You don’t deserve any of what’s happening to you, but like an old woman falling down some stairs, though it might be wrong to laugh at your pain, it’s still really fun.

Big Time In Hollywood, FL airs Wednesdays at 10:30/9:30c on Comedy Central but you can watch the first episode RIGHT NOW for FREE online by clicking here or on the Comedy Central App..