That Psycho Jason Segel Superfan Means Business And He’s My New Hero

Jared Borislow9 years ago

On Friday, I brought you all the story of a man I dubbed a “potential sociopath” whom is eating a photo of actor Jason Segel every day until Jason Segel eats a photo of him. Today is Monday, though, and I’m here to tell you I’ve done a complete 180 on him. He’s no sociopath; merely a man of his word, an art all but gone nowadays. I can’t help but respect everything about him, including all the parts other people (including Friday Jared) dubbed “the pre-game show to the Super Bowl of murder sprees.”

We’re now on day 5 of Segel watch, and our hero, YouTuber Dog Shit (no word yet on whether that’s his real name or not), hammered days 2 and 3 then crushed day 4 by getting a Jason Segel thigh tattoo before eating his fourth Segel photo.

I pussed out of getting a tiny frat tat on my ankle, but this guy has no qualms when it comes to getting “JASON SEGEL” tattooed in big, block letters on his thigh? That’s sheer, undeniable dedication. Dog Shit makes me want to be a better person.

Just how far is Dog Shit willing to take this before Jason Segel jumps in and eats a photo of his face out of fear that not doing so will result in Dog Shit’s death? What if Dog Shit decides to craft an 8×11 inch photo of Segel’s face out of cocaine and then snort the whole thing? Will Jason eat the photo then? What if he gets a billboard-sized Segel photo that is so expansive it’ll burst his stomach open if he attempts to eat the whole thing? Will Jason let him eat it, or save his life by eating Dog Shit’s face? How does there exist a universe in which this entire paragraph actually make any sense? So many questions that will hopefully be answered soon. Ball’s (still) in your court, Seges.

#EatHisFaceSegel.

[via YouTube]

Image via YouTube