Q-Wes-tions With Intern Wes, Part II

Ask Intern Wes photo

1. Do you have any college regrets?

I would list them out, but if you want to read a novel I recommend Frankenstein or something by John Grisham instead. Kidding! I did more in one year of college than most of you have done in your lives.

2. How do you kill the time when you aren’t doing bitch work?

I spend most of my time watching stolen valor and car crash videos anyway.

3. What is one thing you would change about TFM?

Maybe some new buttons for comments in addition to “nice move” and “take a lap.” I’m thinking “tryhard,” as well as “The FUCK did you just say!?” If that one got enough clicks, the commenter would have to fight the writer in real life.

4. Do you get bullied by the TSM intern?

Yeah. I asked her on a date the other day and she said “I’d rather put out a campfire with my face.” It’s cool, she’s a bitch anyway. Just did it for laughs, you know?

5. What is your stance on all of the hate crimes happening?

I don’t want to be sad today, so no comment.

6. Which celebrity would you want to take to your formal?

1960s Michelle Phillips, no doubt. She was in the band The Mamas and the Papas, and was a solid ten in her day.

michelle phillips

If we’re talking about this decade, then it’ll be Anna Kendrick hands down. Don’t judge. I know she would probably hate every second of it, but I’d be in heaven just looking at her perpetually disappointed face.

7. Would you rather have taste buds on your asshole or shit through your mouth?

I’d rather have taste buds on my asshole, so then I can just suppository the foods into my anal cavity.

8. Would you rather never be able to speak again or always have to say what is on your mind?

Always say what’s on my mind. My thoughts are prime anyway, people need to hear this shit. I’m just a golden god out here spitting realness.

9. Why are you such a bitch?

Say that to my face, bruh. You won’t.

10. What’s your go-to Snapchat filter?

Whichever one makes your mom look good. HA! Got eem.

11. Would you rather fuck your cat and have your dad walk in, or fuck your dad and have the cat walk in?

How hot is the cat? I have to know these things. My answer: Inconclusive.

If you have questions to ask Intern Wes, tweet or DM them to @westifer33.

Image via YouTube

  1. Fraddington_bear

    Intern Wes, do you find it odd that you are put out here for us to berate with insults while intern Sydney is sheltered from our verbal assaults solely because she has a penis garage between her legs?

    9 years ago at 1:56 pm
      1. Sigma Alpha Egg sandwich

        Wes, would you smash if she had a clit the size of ur thumb?

        9 years ago at 3:03 pm
    1. AmeliePearson

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      9 years ago at 3:42 pm
    2. KahunaAlpha

      no one wants to address the fact that he picked yellow teeth Michelle from the 60’s? picking a young version of some hippie grandma is the ultimate boner hipster move deserving of that try hard button

      9 years ago at 7:43 pm
  2. fratstar570

    Not surprised at all that Intern Squidward can put out an entire campfire with that massive fucking eye gap.

    9 years ago at 1:57 pm
    1. Drunk Patty Kane

      Her teeth have man many people go blind. Whiter than a bleached pornstar butthole.

      9 years ago at 2:20 pm
  3. Theregalrattle

    Why is it I can comment to make intern, and not Sydney. THATS NOT EQUALITY!

    Also while I’m on the topic, Sydney, show your boobs?

    9 years ago at 2:01 pm
    1. PirateSteveTFM

      Perfect example where the “tryhard” button the intern suggested would be useful.

      9 years ago at 2:24 pm
  4. ZeteNJ

    I’m with you on Anna Kendrick. Allegedly she’s a big coke head too so she’s probably a tomcat in bed.

    9 years ago at 4:07 pm