The Raging Drunken Maniac Is The Best Guy In The House
Your fraternity’s raging drunken maniac is a very unique specimen, with the ability to go from Bruce Banner to The Hulk in the blink of a fucking eye. At the bar he’s sociable and having a good time, but when he gets back to the fraternity house it is in your best interest to stay out of his way. See that table over there? He fucking hates it. Don’t ask why, because not even he knows; he just hates it. The drywall? Fuck that piece of shit; all it’s good for is keeping his right hook up to par.
His instigator? No clue. Maybe his game wasn’t too great that night. Maybe he put too much yeehaw up his nose hole. Nobody ever knows why he comes home pissed off when he’s hammered, but every time he comes stumbling into the house after bar close he makes the evening much more entertaining. This guy was always my favorite while living in house. He made my final beer of the night more enjoyable. He made my drunken Froot Loops taste better. Even if I was zoned in on keeping my whiskey dick up that night, I couldn’t help but try to make out the shit he was pouting about outside my door.
A good thing for him is that his chances of remembering what he did are nil. Once you explain to him his antics from the previous night, you can always see a shade of regret wash over his face like a tidal wave. His ego temporarily dies as a result of feeling like an idiot, but you better believe once he gets a single trace of alcohol back in his blood the shitstorm starts all over again — and it will rain down on the whole house with reckless abandon.
As a pledge, you are terrified of this guy. You know that if you do not mop the floor, then you are first on his hit list when he flips the switch. He is also, obviously, the risk manager’s worst nightmare (actually we all are, but you get the point). Just when that narc thinks things couldn’t get any worse, he has to deal with this deranged asshole. But we love him for it; after all, what is a night out without someone coming back and breaking shit for no reason at all while taking unnecessary idiocy to brand new heights? His ability to rack up fines and make headbutting a door look easy is nothing short of admirable. An anger management class wouldn’t hurt him, but clearly he has no interest in such things and would rather deal with his problems like a borderline sociopathic dick. But he doesn’t give a fuck, so more power to him.
Cheers to the entertainment you bring everybody, cheers to your rage, and cheers to your fucked-up head (both mentally and physically), raging drunken maniac..
Breaking shit for no reason. It’s a TFM
6 years ago at 3:29 pmClearly the worst guy in the house but ok
6 years ago at 4:26 pmwhere the fuck is that pussy that comments about knocking people out
6 years ago at 1:24 amWhy’d ja gotta go and do that nonsense?
6 years ago at 10:10 amAnd even though he commented on your post, he thinks you are the one who is “dancing”. It is retarded logic, but consider the source.
6 years ago at 4:15 pmUnfortunately, your mom doesn’t have a special day because she needs all the rando dollars she can get.
6 years ago at 7:27 pmNo such document would be legal. Not even a pre-nup. Unfortunately.
6 years ago at 8:54 pmHe, fundamentally, argues like a liberal. It’s as if he thinks that talking (to himself, really), as though he won the fight, will blind everyone else and/or somehow make them believe that he did in fact win.
6 years ago at 8:53 pmInside, the crimson room bloomed with light.
6 years ago at 10:29 amTom and Miss Baker sat at either end of the long couch and she read aloud to him from the Saturday Evening Post. — the words, murmurous and uninflected, running together in a soothing tune. The lamp-light, bright on his boots and dull on the autumn-leaf yellow of her hair, glinted along the paper as she turned a page with a flutter of slender muscles in her arms.
When we came in she held us silent for a moment with a lifted hand.
“To be continued,” she said, tossing the magazine on the table, “in our very next issue.”
Her body asserted itself with a restless movement of her knee, and she stood up.
“Ten o’clock,” she remarked, apparently finding the time on the ceiling. “Time for this good girl to go to bed.”
“Jordan’s going to play in the tournament to-morrow,” explained Daisy, “over at Westchester.”
“Oh — you’re Jordan Baker.”
I knew now why her face was familiar — its pleasing contemptuous expression had looked out at me from many rotogravure pictures of the sporting life at Asheville and Hot Springs and Palm Beach. I had heard some story of her too, a critical, unpleasant story, but what it was I had forgotten long ago.
“Good night,” she said softly. “Wake me at eight, won’t you.”
“If you’ll get up.”
“I will. Good night, Mr. Carraway. See you anon.”
“Of course you will,” confirmed Daisy. “In fact I think I’ll arrange a marriage. Come over often, Nick, and I’ll sort of — oh — fling you together. You know — lock you up accidentally in linen closets and push you out to sea in a boat, and all that sort of thing ——”
“Good night,” called Miss Baker from the stairs. “I haven’t heard a word.”
“She’s a nice girl,” said Tom after a moment. “They oughtn’t to let her run around the country this way.”
“Who oughtn’t to?” inquired Daisy coldly.
“Her family.”
“Her family is one aunt about a thousand years old. Besides, Nick’s going to look after her, aren’t you, Nick? She’s going to spend lots of week-ends out here this summer. I think the home influence will be very good for her.”
Daisy and Tom looked at each other for a moment in silence.
“Is she from New York?” I asked quickly.
“From Louisville. Our white girlhood was passed together there. Our beautiful white ——”
“Did you give Nick a little heart to heart talk on the veranda?” demanded Tom suddenly.
“Did I?” She looked at me.
“I can’t seem to remember, but I think we talked about the Nordic race. Yes, I’m sure we did. It sort of crept up on us and first thing you know ——”
“Don’t believe everything you hear, Nick,” he advised me.
I said lightly that I had heard nothing at all, and a few minutes later I got up to go home. They came to the door with me and stood side by side in a cheerful square of light. As I started my motor Daisy peremptorily called: “Wait!”
“I forgot to ask you something, and it’s important. We heard you were engaged to a girl out West.”
“That’s right,” corroborated Tom kindly. “We heard that you were engaged.”
“It’s libel. I’m too poor.”
“But we heard it,” insisted Daisy, surprising me by opening up again in a flower-like way. “We heard it from three people, so it must be true.”
Of course I knew what they were referring to, but I wasn’t even vaguely engaged. The fact that gossip had published the banns was one of the reasons I had come East. You can’t stop going with an old friend on account of rumors, and on the other hand I had no intention of being rumored into marriage.
Their interest rather touched me and made them less remotely rich — nevertheless, I was confused and a little disgusted as I drove away. It seemed to me that the thing for Daisy to do was to rush out of the house, child in arms — but apparently there were no such intentions in her head. As for Tom, the fact that he “had some woman in New York.” was really less surprising than that he had been depressed by a book. Something was making him nibble at the edge of stale ideas as if his sturdy physical egotism no longer nourished his peremptory heart.
Already it was deep summer on roadhouse roofs and in front of wayside garages, where new red gas-pumps sat out in pools of light, and when I reached my estate at West Egg I ran the car under its shed and sat for a while on an abandoned grass roller in the yard. The wind had blown off, leaving a loud, bright night, with wings beating in the trees and a persistent organ sound as the full bellows of the earth blew the frogs full of life. The silhouette of a moving cat wavered across the moonlight, and turning my head to watch it, I saw that I was not alone — fifty feet away a figure had emerged from the shadow of my neighbor’s mansion and was standing with his hands in his pockets regarding the silver pepper of the stars. Something in his leisurely movements and the secure position of his feet upon the lawn suggested that it was Mr. Gatsby himself, come out to determine what share was his of our local heavens.
I decided to call to him. Miss Baker had mentioned him at dinner, and that would do for an introduction. But I didn’t call to him, for he gave a sudden intimation that he was content to be alone — he stretched out his arms toward the dark water in a curious way, and, far as I was from him, I could have sworn he was trembling. Involuntarily I glanced seaward — and distinguished nothing except a single green light, minute and far away, that might have been the end of a dock. When I looked once more for Gatsby he had vanished, and I was alone again in the unquiet darkness.
Especially when they hang the nerds by there noses from 3 stories, fuckin nerds
6 years ago at 8:06 amI’m probably the only guy who’s been on here for a full 7 years but this reminds me of the old days of this website, before everybody became such a gigantic poon, or, anus, in the vaginator’s case. I can’t remember ever knowing anyone who was actually in a fraternity being dumb enough to act like this, except myself, which I guess just means that I’m that one friend that everyone talks about. Always wanted to encounter this issue with someone else though, because I have this bean-bag shotgun that I’m not using.
6 years ago at 8:50 pm