Rick Perry, The New Standard for TFTC
13 years ago

This has been a week of extraordinary fuck ups. Something is in the air, and even a man with hair as awe inspiring as Rick Perry’s is not immune. He jogs with a laser-sighted pistol loaded with hollow-points and guns down coyotes that threaten his Labrador. He’s been the governor of Texas for so long that people just assume he’ll be reelected until the end of time. He makes Jay “TFTCutler” Cutler look like he gives a fuck. He is Rick Perry, and during last night’s debate he politically shit the bed in a way that will be talked about for years to come.

Oops is right. That went from being funny to painful and back to being funny again in rapid succession. If forgetting the name of a government agency that you plan on axing as president of the United States doesn’t make you TFTC, then I don’t know what does. The man actually said, “Oops” as we watched his campaign go up in flames. This would be like if Jay Cutler took his Bears to the Super Bowl, and then with a chance to tie and five seconds left in the game he threw a pick in the red zone and said “Oops” as he walked off the field. It would be like if W had held a press conference to announce that Saddam didn’t actually have WMDs and just said, “Oops.” From now on, the only way to end a fuck-up of epic proportions is by saying oops.

In my eyes this doesn’t really affect Perry’s campaign. He’s a face guy, not the brains behind the operation. I don’t give a fuck if he remembers the name of some agency that his advisors think he needs to tell the public he’s going to axe in order to gain poll points. But I’m only one man, and the liberal media is going to crucify him for this, so in remembrance of Perry’s presidential campaign remember to pick up a “Rick Perry 2012” shirt from Frocketees.com. Now let’s enjoy some of his finest moments together:

  2. 247frat

    Politics is overrated. I want a military man as commander-in-chief of this country.

    These guys have so much staff and so little real legislative power that it doesn’t really matter if they can remember what agencies to cut or not. They’re not running for dictator.

    13 years ago at 2:24 pm
    3. CandC

      Wanting a military man and then saying you don’t want a dictator, thanks for the big bowl of irony before lunch.

      13 years ago at 8:23 am
    2. Dukie5440

      it’s true dude, Perry majored in animal sciences…here’s the kicker, because he couldn’t hack it as a veterinary studies at a bottom tier state school. Just like half of the people on this fuckin website now

      13 years ago at 12:18 am
    1. The Piker

      You do realize he corrected himself and said he visited 47 states about 5 seconds later? I never understood why so many conservatives got on him for that. After all the dumb shit Palin said to ruin our campaign, in addition to all Bush’s mistakes when speaking, we crucified a guy who immediately recognized he meant to say 47. Not like 57 and 47 are all that different off the tongue. Insult him for his polices, but that shit just makes the GOP and its supporters look like we are all stuck in the past and will do anything to mock the other party, rather than support our own.

      13 years ago at 4:05 pm
    2. The Piker

      Also, he was saying he visited 47 of the 50 states, before you tear that rant a new asshole, because I know half the people on this site of no knowledge of political history.

      13 years ago at 4:06 pm
  6. legalizehazing

    He really should have stuck with the I’m not going to go to debates strategy. I really wish he had.

    13 years ago at 12:35 am
  7. Rod Blabrojevich

    It’s like Jay Cutler giving up on his team in the 3rd quarter of the NFC championship and saying ‘oops’

    Oh Wait.

    13 years ago at 1:32 am
  9. Wall Street Fratter

    Hate to bust the bubble for all the members of the Ron Paul cult, but he is unelectable.Thanks to Rick Perry and the Cain allegations, the candidate will likely be Romney or Gingrich (The only candidate that can win a debate with Obama and has a past record of leadership and sound solutions) Gingrich/Rubio 2012, Gingrich/McDonnell 2012, or Gingrich/Romney 2012 (Those would be my three choices for the Republican ticket)

    13 years ago at 6:58 am
    1. CandC

      Gingritch can’t get elected either. As soon as conservatives start pushing him, we’ll never hear the end of his infidelity.

      13 years ago at 8:24 am
    2. Success

      Gingrich? Are you kidding? Never…I repeat, he will never get elected. His history will dog him. Unfortunately it’s gonna be Romney and I don’t like his odds against Comrade Obama.

      13 years ago at 1:37 pm
    3. Wall Street Fratter

      Success, All the candidates have a “history” that will bite them in the ass somehow, but Gingrich is the most qualified and would the most successful Republican running against our Debater-in-Chief in the debates. Romney has flip-flopped numerous times. I am not one of the Republicans that will discredit Romney because he is Mormon, but many Social Conservatives will not even show up to the polls if he is the candidate. While Gingrich’s marriage baggage will be brought up numerous times, I do not see how that issue relates to our economy or unemployment rate. The media definitely insinuates that the two correlate to each other, but I would hope that our citizens are not ignorant enough to believe it. President Obama has got to be a one-term President otherwise I fear that America’s future is grim. He may even begin forcing regulations on fraternities and demanding that we start giving automatic bids to minorities to reach the “diversity” quota. Something will have to give and it sure as hell won’t be my vote to Obama.

      13 years ago at 3:41 pm
    4. CandC

      ^ Actually I would argue that Republicans need to stop being asshats and pass bills that matter or America’s future is grim.

      13 years ago at 11:14 am