Rick Perry, The New Standard for TFTC

The General13 years ago

This has been a week of extraordinary fuck ups. Something is in the air, and even a man with hair as awe inspiring as Rick Perry’s is not immune. He jogs with a laser-sighted pistol loaded with hollow-points and guns down coyotes that threaten his Labrador. He’s been the governor of Texas for so long that people just assume he’ll be reelected until the end of time. He makes Jay “TFTCutler” Cutler look like he gives a fuck. He is Rick Perry, and during last night’s debate he politically shit the bed in a way that will be talked about for years to come.

Oops is right. That went from being funny to painful and back to being funny again in rapid succession. If forgetting the name of a government agency that you plan on axing as president of the United States doesn’t make you TFTC, then I don’t know what does. The man actually said, “Oops” as we watched his campaign go up in flames. This would be like if Jay Cutler took his Bears to the Super Bowl, and then with a chance to tie and five seconds left in the game he threw a pick in the red zone and said “Oops” as he walked off the field. It would be like if W had held a press conference to announce that Saddam didn’t actually have WMDs and just said, “Oops.” From now on, the only way to end a fuck-up of epic proportions is by saying oops.

In my eyes this doesn’t really affect Perry’s campaign. He’s a face guy, not the brains behind the operation. I don’t give a fuck if he remembers the name of some agency that his advisors think he needs to tell the public he’s going to axe in order to gain poll points. But I’m only one man, and the liberal media is going to crucify him for this, so in remembrance of Perry’s presidential campaign remember to pick up a “Rick Perry 2012” shirt from Frocketees.com. Now let’s enjoy some of his finest moments together: