Ridiculous Tinder Pickup Lines

Ridiculous Tinder Pickup Lines, Part 207

They should both just unmatch and move on after this. Don’t think it’s going anywhere.
Coming in hot!
Probably slim to nil.
Sounds like this guy is in for a wild ride.
This is pretty much the current state of American politics in a nutshell.

If you’ve had a hilarious Tinder interaction or have come across an absurd Tinder profile, send it to TinderConvos@grandex.co

0_o
#FORTNITESTUFF2018
I don’t think so, no.
#MEANGIRLSSTUFF2018
Concise.

Follow @tinderconvos on Instagram for daily doses of Tinder hilarity

If you’ve had a hilarious Tinder interaction or have come across an absurd Tinder profile, send it to TinderConvos@grandex.co

  1. AndrewsMomsAss

    The guy with the parachute will be very surprised when he pulls the ripcord and his lunch flies out because he strapped on his book bag by mistake! Remember kids, Jansport doesn’t make parachutes! Ha ha I’m going to put that on Facebook!

    6 years ago at 6:58 am
    1. SharkWeekTFM

      Happy Shark Week everyone.
      Not gonna even try to write anything this year. I know it’d be too good for them to publish. But do yourself a favor and go back and some of my stuff (and make sure not to miss the Commenter of the Week by Dillon which is 2 sentences him and then all the rest is me).

      6 years ago at 9:30 am
      1. AndrewsMomsAss

        What’s SharkWeekTFM’s favorite Bible story? The story of Noah’s shARK! Ha ha I’m going to put that on Facebook!

        6 years ago at 10:51 am
      2. Henry_Eighth

        Pretty sad when there’s only two comments in eight hours, but I’d rather have two good comments than 20 ridiculous ones.

        6 years ago at 4:14 pm
      3. Henry_Eighth

        You should post a column here in the comments. If Fratty McFratFrat can post an entire chapter from The Great Gatsby, then you should be able to post an 800 word column.

        6 years ago at 6:09 am
  2. SharkWeekTFM

    I don’t think I could ever have a 3 some with another guy. Can’t even watch that shit in porn.

    6 years ago at 8:02 am
    1. Fratty Couples PGA

      I recently Eiffel-Towered a young Vietnamese woman with her 46-year-old husband, and I gotta say, it wasn’t as awkward as you might expect. And I’m pretty much a homophobe.

      6 years ago at 9:10 am
      1. Henry_Eighth

        Having a threesome with a middle-aged Asian man just to make your below-average penis look larger by comparison. TFM

        6 years ago at 2:12 pm
      2. Fratty Couples PGA

        He was a white guy. Ex Army Ranger, was stationed in Korea for 10 years, never got rid of the Asian fetish.

        6 years ago at 8:42 pm
      3. SharkWeekTFM

        Well that’s good for you if you’re cool with that. The only way I could see it happening is if it was just the three of us hanging out and then she was the one who initiated, “You know what I’ve always wanted to try….?”

        6 years ago at 10:33 am
      4. Fratty Couples PGA

        That’s pretty much how it happened. Tinder match –> “come over” –> “Oh by the way this is my husband” –> “You can fuck her bro.” He watched at first while I hit it from behind and then she started blowing him. I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to pull off an Eiffel Tower. Actually went clubbing with them a couple times, they were pretty cool.

        6 years ago at 6:02 pm
      5. Fratty Couples PGA

        I’m not even lying or making this up I have a video of her singing that song at karaoke.

        6 years ago at 8:43 pm
      1. Fratty McFratFrat

        I’d like to see some of the Old Reliables return. Like SmithPM, LazyRican, Michael Burry, GeedNProud.

        6 years ago at 5:00 pm
      1. bigdickdean22

        Wonder why they waited until now. My theory is that it had to do with the supposed fight between stardog and vaginator. If there was a fight and someone got injured maybe TFM could be held responsible. Noticed they deleted all his comments.

        6 years ago at 8:19 pm
      2. Sal Naturale

        No fight took place. We deleted his comments from the past three weeks and restricted commenting abilities. His account is still active.

        6 years ago at 9:23 pm
      3. bigdickdean22

        Do you work for tfm? Not trying to sound like a dick I’m genuinely asking. And why not just blackball him? If that’s still a thing.

        6 years ago at 9:53 pm
  3. Fratty McFratFrat

    The great thing about boat shoes is they clean up good after you piss all over them. Just thought that needed to be said.

    6 years ago at 11:23 am
    1. Wraith

      I don’t think boat shoes are officially broken in until they’ve been soaked in piss.

      6 years ago at 5:12 am