Rock solid logic.Not sure that lines plays with the ladies.She sounds interested, surprisingly.Dropping a “babe” in the third message. Bold move.That does sound special!#NAMEGAGS2016Take that, Isis!I don’t speak whatever dialect this is.I respect this guy’s commitment to the bit.
Intern, I’m aware your mother undoubtedly drank aggressively during her pregnancy with you and you have fetal alcohol syndrome heavily affecting your brain, but the world “elite” begins with a vowel and must be preceded by the term “an” you ignorant shit.
Pound Town is near Cleveland! I know because one of my Match.com dates said he wanted to go to Pound Town and take a Cleveland Steamer! I guess they still use steam engines in Ohio!
Na, it’s just every man involuntarily shudders with that thought. And at least half of us have caught a surprise finger during a beej and enjoyed it a little too much for our own identity confidence.
Show me a man that hated when girlfriend drunkenly put her finger in his ass, and Ill show you a liar.
9 years ago at 8:29 amShow me a guy that likes gay sex acts and I’ll show you a gay guy
9 years ago at 10:45 amLook in the mirror
9 years ago at 10:47 amYou’re not wrong
9 years ago at 11:52 amIntern, I’m aware your mother undoubtedly drank aggressively during her pregnancy with you and you have fetal alcohol syndrome heavily affecting your brain, but the world “elite” begins with a vowel and must be preceded by the term “an” you ignorant shit.
9 years ago at 8:34 amJared when did they demote you to intern? I always thought you were the best writer at grandex man.
9 years ago at 8:45 amJared did you not attend the second grade? It’s “a” when the next word starts with a consonant, it’s “an” when the next word starts with a vowel.
9 years ago at 8:51 amhave you not noticed that writing for TFM doesn’t necessarily require literacy
9 years ago at 9:02 amYou aren’t too tuned-in to the “is Joe Flacco elite?” joke, apparently.
9 years ago at 9:24 amI miss those strips
9 years ago at 9:25 amApparently PFTC isn’t known around these parts. FOR SHAME.
9 years ago at 11:43 amWe can always count on Jared every week to deliver this quality on time.
9 years ago at 8:53 amThose directions to pound town were gold. Seems like the guy could have capitalized more with that pickup though.
9 years ago at 9:05 amPound Town is near Cleveland! I know because one of my Match.com dates said he wanted to go to Pound Town and take a Cleveland Steamer! I guess they still use steam engines in Ohio!
9 years ago at 9:58 amIf she showed him her tits he would be stopped in titty city which is conveniently not too far from poundtown
9 years ago at 6:23 pmJared, as you approach an astounding 100 lists, can you let the fans know if you have anything special planned for the milestone?
9 years ago at 9:11 amAny suggestions?
9 years ago at 9:25 amPics of mama Borislow in a bikini lathered in KFC Gravy while eating mashed potatoes
9 years ago at 9:31 amCompilation of your all time favorites from the previous 99 lists?
9 years ago at 9:40 amButtStuff’s Greatest Hits. Top 100 ButtStuff pickup lines in chronological order.
9 years ago at 10:28 amThe snail line has already been done. Still gold though.
9 years ago at 9:34 amIs yo bootyhole a medium rare steak? Because I wanna tear into that piece of meat until the brown outer skin starts oozing that red bloody juice
9 years ago at 9:55 amGotta bunch of sensitive Sally’s
9 years ago at 10:17 amNa, it’s just every man involuntarily shudders with that thought. And at least half of us have caught a surprise finger during a beej and enjoyed it a little too much for our own identity confidence.
9 years ago at 3:01 pmI’m officially convinced you’re a troll.
9 years ago at 6:25 pmEinstein alert
9 years ago at 9:08 pmIf you look at his profile pic it looks like someone’s treating his bootyhole as a medium rare steak hahahah
9 years ago at 12:41 amAny qb with a super bowl ring must be considered elite. Even Eli manning.
9 years ago at 10:03 amTrent Dilfer is far from fucking elite.
9 years ago at 3:16 pmThe 6th one down, I hope he fucked Isis
9 years ago at 12:25 pm