Ridiculous Tinder Pickup Lines

Ridiculous Tinder Pickup Lines, Part 91
9 years ago

marianna
He’s not looking for a hotdog down a hallway-type situaish.
melody
This sounds promising for Melody.
nicki
How about it, Nicki?
norin
Pretty sure it’s “a,” not “an.”
pat
The dog AND the CDs? That’s a raw deal for Patrick.
rachel
There is no way this didn’t work. Maybe without the exclamation mark it wouldn’t, but as is? It’s immaculate.
sam
I’m not sure I see the correlation.
savannah
His problem is that he needs to come on stronger.
tess
Despite the fact that she picked the most popular card, this is still probably the most impressive Tinder feat I’ve seen.
tyler
IT’S A TRAP, TYLER!

If you’ve had a hilarious Tinder interaction or have come across an absurd Tinder profile, send it to Jared@totalfratmove.com

Check out last week’s installment of Ridiculous Tinder Pickup Lines:

Part 90

Follow @TinderConvos on Instagram

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  2. Fratstarbator

    Show me a man that hated when girlfriend drunkenly put her finger in his ass, and Ill show you a liar.

    9 years ago at 8:29 am
  3. AXPeeInHerButt

    Intern, I’m aware your mother undoubtedly drank aggressively during her pregnancy with you and you have fetal alcohol syndrome heavily affecting your brain, but the world “elite” begins with a vowel and must be preceded by the term “an” you ignorant shit.

    9 years ago at 8:34 am
    1. SomethingSomethingDangerZone

      Jared when did they demote you to intern? I always thought you were the best writer at grandex man.

      9 years ago at 8:45 am
  4. TheeRockySulli

    Jared did you not attend the second grade? It’s “a” when the next word starts with a consonant, it’s “an” when the next word starts with a vowel.

    9 years ago at 8:51 am
    1. UMaverick

      have you not noticed that writing for TFM doesn’t necessarily require literacy

      9 years ago at 9:02 am
    2. Jared Borislow

      You aren’t too tuned-in to the “is Joe Flacco elite?” joke, apparently.

      9 years ago at 9:24 am
  5. Luke_Fratwalker

    We can always count on Jared every week to deliver this quality on time.

    9 years ago at 8:53 am
  6. CreightonFratStar

    Those directions to pound town were gold. Seems like the guy could have capitalized more with that pickup though.

    9 years ago at 9:05 am
    1. AndrewsMomsAss

      Pound Town is near Cleveland! I know because one of my Match.com dates said he wanted to go to Pound Town and take a Cleveland Steamer! I guess they still use steam engines in Ohio!

      9 years ago at 9:58 am
      1. Hasbrownsandvodka

        If she showed him her tits he would be stopped in titty city which is conveniently not too far from poundtown

        9 years ago at 6:23 pm
  7. Jameson Von Budweiser

    Jared, as you approach an astounding 100 lists, can you let the fans know if you have anything special planned for the milestone?

    9 years ago at 9:11 am
      1. thaisticktony

        Pics of mama Borislow in a bikini lathered in KFC Gravy while eating mashed potatoes

        9 years ago at 9:31 am
      2. Jameson Von Budweiser

        Compilation of your all time favorites from the previous 99 lists?

        9 years ago at 9:40 am
      3. SteveHoltOnDrugs

        ButtStuff’s Greatest Hits. Top 100 ButtStuff pickup lines in chronological order.

        9 years ago at 10:28 am
  9. Terence Fletcher

    Is yo bootyhole a medium rare steak? Because I wanna tear into that piece of meat until the brown outer skin starts oozing that red bloody juice

    9 years ago at 9:55 am
      1. math_is_hard

        Na, it’s just every man involuntarily shudders with that thought. And at least half of us have caught a surprise finger during a beej and enjoyed it a little too much for our own identity confidence.

        9 years ago at 3:01 pm
    2. Kopitar011

      If you look at his profile pic it looks like someone’s treating his bootyhole as a medium rare steak hahahah

      9 years ago at 12:41 am
  10. Bro-hann Sebastian Bach

    Any qb with a super bowl ring must be considered elite. Even Eli manning.

    9 years ago at 10:03 am