Robert E. Lee Elementary School Turns To Internet To Help Rename School, The Internet Does What The Internet Does

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The fact that Robert E. Lee Elementary School, located in Austin, Texas, will be undergoing a name change should not be all that surprising considering the fact that we live in a day and age where people feel marginalized by pretty much anything.

To help with the name change, the school board decided that it would be a great idea to turn to the ever so reliable general public to help generate some ideas. As predicted, the results were less than stellar.

Some notable nominations include:

Donald J. Trump Elementary – Despite losing the Texas primary, Donald is currently the leading candidate in terms of total nominations to get his named slapped up there on that elementary school. I guess we still haven’t learned that educational institutions and the Trump name just aren’t a good mix.

The Elementary School Formerly Known as Robert E. Lee – Nice little Prince tribute here.

John Cena Elementary School – The Pledge of Allegiance every morning would also be replaced with his entrance music, “My Time is Now.”

“Idiocaracy” Elementary – Nothing promotes academic excellence like naming your school after a misspelled word.

Jefferson Davis Elementary – Doubling down on Confederacy names is a bold strategy.

Orenthal James Simpson Elementary School – I mean the man did win a Heisman.

Politically Correct Elementary School #1 – Straightforward and to the point.

Michelle Obama Academy – School lunches would be a nightmare.

Kim Il-Sung High School – All North Korea references aside, it’s an elementary school you morons.

Kanye West Elementary – For someone who publicly claimed that “George Bush doesn’t like black people,” he appears to be somewhat well received in the Lone Star state.

Bleeding Heart Liberal Elementary – “A place for safe spaces, comfortable thoughts, selective history lessons, and meaningless social change.”

Spike Lee Elementary – Spike Lee is about as far from a Texan as Kim Il-Sung is for that matter.

And lastly, with 8 nominations (Ronald Regan Elementary only had 3 to put that in context):

Adolf Hitler School for Friendship and Tolerance – If you want your child to be an “art kid.”

Nicely done Austin, you’ve really outdone yourselves with this one. Based on your primary, you’re not comfortable with The Donald being in the White House, but hey, throw that name up on a children’s school and it’s full steam ahead.

[via Fox 7 Austin]

Image via source goes here

  1. Cartier

    Just keep it Robert E. Lee. Worry about something real, like why the horns can’t win 8 games anymore.

    9 years ago at 7:14 am
    1. Bush Light

      Not a horns fan but NCAAF needs them to be good again. As well as Southern Cal. Just not the same without them (hopefully Michigan gets their shit straight too.)

      9 years ago at 8:11 am
    2. Gun_Slinger

      Pretty bad when Texas football is looking for an 8 win season to measure success.

      9 years ago at 10:21 am
    3. John_F_Frat

      We’re back just wait and see, maybe not natty contenders but I’m saying a 10 win season is very possible

      9 years ago at 1:46 pm
  2. Purdue_Peter

    OJ deserves a fair shot. I would know, I watched that documentary about it starring Radio.

    9 years ago at 7:19 am
  3. PiKappaAsshole

    They could always rename it Kappa Alpha Elementary to stick with the Robert E. Lee theme.

    9 years ago at 7:56 am
    1. Clarke_Griswold

      You tried, pal. I think Stevie Ray Vaughn Elementary would be better fitting.

      9 years ago at 1:58 pm
  4. Fratrick Henry III

    This is like the multi-million dollar research vessel that the Internet named “Boaty McBoatface”

    9 years ago at 9:03 am
    1. Frabst

      Wow! Gee whiz, I don’t think anyone can connect the dots like you can. You must be a Mensa or something!

      9 years ago at 9:24 am