Robert E. Lee Elementary School Turns To Internet To Help Rename School, The Internet Does What The Internet Does

Screen Shot 2016-04-25 at 7.01.43 AM

The fact that Robert E. Lee Elementary School, located in Austin, Texas, will be undergoing a name change should not be all that surprising considering the fact that we live in a day and age where people feel marginalized by pretty much anything.

To help with the name change, the school board decided that it would be a great idea to turn to the ever so reliable general public to help generate some ideas. As predicted, the results were less than stellar.

Some notable nominations include:

Donald J. Trump Elementary – Despite losing the Texas primary, Donald is currently the leading candidate in terms of total nominations to get his named slapped up there on that elementary school. I guess we still haven’t learned that educational institutions and the Trump name just aren’t a good mix.

The Elementary School Formerly Known as Robert E. Lee – Nice little Prince tribute here.

John Cena Elementary School – The Pledge of Allegiance every morning would also be replaced with his entrance music, “My Time is Now.”

“Idiocaracy” Elementary – Nothing promotes academic excellence like naming your school after a misspelled word.

Jefferson Davis Elementary – Doubling down on Confederacy names is a bold strategy.

Orenthal James Simpson Elementary School – I mean the man did win a Heisman.

Politically Correct Elementary School #1 – Straightforward and to the point.

Michelle Obama Academy – School lunches would be a nightmare.

Kim Il-Sung High School – All North Korea references aside, it’s an elementary school you morons.

Kanye West Elementary – For someone who publicly claimed that “George Bush doesn’t like black people,” he appears to be somewhat well received in the Lone Star state.

Bleeding Heart Liberal Elementary – “A place for safe spaces, comfortable thoughts, selective history lessons, and meaningless social change.”

Spike Lee Elementary – Spike Lee is about as far from a Texan as Kim Il-Sung is for that matter.

And lastly, with 8 nominations (Ronald Regan Elementary only had 3 to put that in context):

Adolf Hitler School for Friendship and Tolerance – If you want your child to be an “art kid.”

Nicely done Austin, you’ve really outdone yourselves with this one. Based on your primary, you’re not comfortable with The Donald being in the White House, but hey, throw that name up on a children’s school and it’s full steam ahead.

[via Fox 7 Austin]

Image via source goes here

    1. fratsohardUn1versity

      Or just leave it as is…according to the logic of the people who wanna change the name we would also need to change the name of every southern state as well

      9 years ago at 9:50 am
    2. MrPresident1865

      And then you ran the country into the ground. 1,2,3 ROBERT E. LEE. 3,2,1 THE SOUTH SHOULDVE WON.

      9 years ago at 11:34 am
      1. MrPresident1865

        I was talking about Ulysses S Grant having one of the corrupt and defunct terms as president.

        9 years ago at 2:12 pm
      2. Old Tau

        If you had taken the offer to command the northern army, you could have been President later on.

        9 years ago at 8:37 pm
    3. CamNewtonIsMyStepDad

      Or we could have the more productive southern children succeed from the main school. Thus becoming a better more kick ass elementary school

      9 years ago at 9:22 am
  1. SteveHoltOnDrugs

    Steve Holt Elementary School. Graduation qualifies you to be a TFM writer.

    9 years ago at 9:42 am
  2. Busch deLight

    Roger Dorn Elementary — Dorn would probably try to put hidden cameras in the boys bathroom.

    9 years ago at 10:46 am
  3. Frattastic13

    Why are we naming schools after traitors to our country in the first place? Lap me all you want, southern try-hards, but they weren’t called “rebels” because they were supporting the United States of America.

    9 years ago at 11:54 am
    1. The Hacksaw

      The United States of America was founded on rebellion. Our Founding Fathers weren’t exactly conformists…

      9 years ago at 1:11 pm
      1. John_F_Frat

        To be fair, it’s not like we have a queen Elizabeth elementary or a King George high

        9 years ago at 1:45 pm
    2. MrStealDornsMom

      They were defending their homes that were invaded by the North. Robert E. Lee himself said he wouldn’t have wanted to fight but he had to stand by his home state of Virginia.

      Also, fuck off. Lee was the definition of a good general. His troops loved him, he was respected by all, and he stayed true to his virtues throughout the war. He was also an infinitely better general than any of the Northern ones. You probably won’t understand any of this though because you are a fucking northern fudge packer

      9 years ago at 2:48 pm