My Thrilling Role Play Experience With A Morgantown MILF

milf

For some odd reason, it is the fantasy of every young man to engage in heinous sexual acts with a woman double his age. Whether it is the thrill of banging a woman who was losing her virginity in a drive-in movie theatre while you were still a developing sperm cell in your father’s balls or the fact that said woman has a flawless set of fake knockers most likely purchased with alimony funds from a recent divorce, no college man should ever scoff at the prospect of engaging in intercourse with a well-experienced woman.

It was a crisp Tuesday night in Morgantown, West Virginia, and I was suffering from an egregiously severe case of blue balls after spending the past Friday night striking out with girls far out of my league and promptly having my Saturday night cut short after being arrested for accidentally urinating on a homeless man. What better way to let off some steam than to violently drink away my Tuesday night? I arrived at the bar and hastily initiated my midweek binge. Across the bar, I noticed a group of three U.S. Mint-certified dimes. The only issue (or so I thought) was that these women were off the market and most likely married.

After a few minutes of shameless staring, I couldn’t help but notice one of the women, a shorter babe with a rack you could motorboat for a lifetime, intermittently looking over at me. By this time, my BAC was sitting far ahead of the bell curve, and I decided that I had consumed enough liquid confidence to justify hitting on her. However, just as I had summoned the courage to make a move on her, she approached me. We conversed about God knows what for about fifteen minutes until I asked if she wanted to step outside for a smoke. As soon as we exited the bar and stepped onto High Street, she grabbed me by the shirt, pulled me an inch from her face, and sternly asked, “Do you want to go to the sex shop with me?” I was taken aback but kept my composure, and with our eyes deadlocked, I responded, charismatically, “Absolutely.”

The woman knew exactly where the sex shop was; about two blocks from the bar. Immediately upon entering, she addressed the cashier in the store by his first name, which affirmed my already strong belief that this woman was an outright wench who needed to be shown a good time by a young stud like myself. While she was busy gathering miscellaneous items, I was waiting impatiently at the register, fully torqued with my Johnson holstered in my waistband. A wave of both pure excitement and uncertainty swept through me when she set a slutty police officer uniform and handcuffs on the checkout counter. As if I couldn’t be even more stunned, she promptly asked the cashier for 120 whip-its and two balloons. “That will be $89 honey,” stated the cashier. Mommy immediately produced a crisp Benjamin, and I knew at that moment that she was not fucking around.

The instant we stepped foot outside of the store, she gently, but commandingly, grasped me by the dick, pulled me close, and asked if I would like to come back to her hotel. My level of arousal was similar to that of a dog staring down a ham steak. I gave a nod of approval while donning the facial expression of a kid who had just discovered the Hub and masturbation simultaneously. We arrived at the Marriott just outside of Morgantown and entered the hotel room. After nearly half an hour of inhaling balloon gas and murdering my brain cells, we retreated to the bedroom. She requested that I wait in the room while she used the restroom. By this point, I was so in the moment that I had completely forgotten about the slutty cop outfit, which caused me to almost prematurely ejaculate when she came crawling out of the bathroom on all fours with a whistle in her mouth and handcuffs clamped on her hip. The rest is history, and I proceeded to give the firm-breasted beauty the best 36 seconds of her life.

Engaging in intercourse with a woman more than twice your age is an otherworldly experience and a necessary prophecy that must be fulfilled on your ascent to manhood.

For the fastest way to keep up with TFM, download our free smartphone app.

Image via Shutterstock

  1. billybudd

    Thanks for giving absolutely zero detail on the actual role playing part, which is really the only part I was interested in reading whatsoever.

    8 years ago at 11:21 am
    1. MalcolmSex

      I swore an oath to never discuss the sickening things that occurred during those 36 seconds.

      8 years ago at 11:41 am
  2. Bro-hann Sebastian Bach

    Nitrogen is 80% of the atmosphere. A little balloon gas isn’t going to hurt anything in your brain.

    8 years ago at 11:25 am
  3. JohnnyFratkins

    Women are like fine wine, they only get better with age. Nevertheless, I consume ’em young ones with gusto like a degenerate

    8 years ago at 11:27 am
  4. ClicheCatchphrase

    Goddamn your writing is fucking horrible. You should fit right in here.

    But really, horrible fucking article you cocksucker

    8 years ago at 2:54 pm
    1. MalcolmSex

      And your weight watchers commercial in ’09 claiming you lost 75 pounds seemed a bit exhaggerated too, lardass.

      8 years ago at 3:51 pm
      1. Drunk Chris Berman

        You pay me enough and I’ll lie on national TV about almost anything

        8 years ago at 2:40 pm
  5. TedDibiase

    unsure if I buy this story or not…don’t know if any adult toy stores on high street near the bars…but like Fox Mulder I Want to Believe

    8 years ago at 2:33 am
    1. Stan Spinnaker

      There is. It’s right above that shithole that is called liquid lounge, used to be shooters.

      8 years ago at 2:59 pm