Ronaldo Returns Lost Phone To Group Of Hot Girls In Vegas And 100% Has Sex With All Of Them
What is it with this guy? We’re talking about the number 1 heartthrob in all of Europe. Ronaldo could have any girl he wants. The guy only has sex with women among the top 0.00001% of the hottest on earth, then here is falling ass backwards into the horny arms of four very attractive American women, just because he found a lost phone that belonged to one of them…? Fuck this guy.
Apparently, Cristiano Ronaldo, while vacationing in Vegas, found a lost, unlocked phone and decided to call its owner to track them down — presumably after scrolling through pics (nudes?) to ensure its owner wasn’t a fat slob who burns heaters and drinks Bud Heavy while bellied up to the nickel slots all day. But it’s Ronaldo, so of course the owner of the phone was young and hot, and of course she had three even hotter friends. Below is a picture of them.
If I lose my phone, whoever finds it is obviously keeping it and throwing it up on eBay, because that’s what normal people do. Or if they do find it in their heart to return it, it’s 100% the chain-smoking slob at the slot machine. It’s not Nina Agdal, which is the female equivalent to Ronaldo.
A photo posted by Austin Woolstenhulme (@austinmilan) on
The four apparently hit it off with the kickball superstar and later had dinner and drinks with him, then of course he brought them all up to his penthouse suite, as evidenced by the below Facebook post.
No doubt Ronaldo has a real solid hangdown on him, too. You know he does. Some girls guys have all the luck..
Images via Facebook, Instagram/ @austinmilan
I once foun Dorn’s phone. It had 10GB worth of selfies; most of them with his penis tucked between his legs. I threw the phone in the dumpster. Bad vibes.
10 years ago at 12:08 pmI once found Steve Holt’s phone. It was full of shitty articles, so I deleted them all and left the phone. You’re welcome
10 years ago at 2:51 pmWell he wrote more. You should have kept the phone.
10 years ago at 11:50 pmSome boy in her hometown who has loved her dearly his whole life is crying tonight.
10 years ago at 12:17 pmAnyone else buttons their polo all the way up and tucks it in to show their belt buckle would probably be taking it in the ass, but nope instead he’s on the giving end. It’s ronaldo’s world and we’re all just living in it
10 years ago at 12:20 pmWhat undoubtedly would be the peak of my existence is what Ronaldo calls a mediocre Saturday night.
10 years ago at 12:41 pm*Monday
10 years ago at 1:39 pmWhat the actual fuck I went to high school with Alexis Kener?
10 years ago at 12:42 pmSend her nudes
10 years ago at 2:24 pmToo much ambiguity there. Didn’t know if you meant send her nudes to you guys or send her nudes of me as a congratulatory gift. I went with the latter
10 years ago at 6:32 pmyou did good son
10 years ago at 12:02 am“Apparently, Cristiano Ronaldo, while vacationing in Vegas, found a lost, unlocked phone and decided to call its owner to track them down”
So he found the girl’s phone and then called the girl? Yeah that makes a lotta fucking sense Dorn
10 years ago at 12:43 pmHe obviously called a recently dialed/texted number in the phone, smart guy.
10 years ago at 1:01 pmWonder how many goals he scored that night…
10 years ago at 1:44 pmDefinitely at least pulled the hat trick
10 years ago at 2:44 pmI would 100% bang all of them for 90 minutes + stoppage time
10 years ago at 1:53 pmI would 100% have sex with all of those women for 90 minutes + stoppage time
10 years ago at 1:53 pmTry posting it one more time
10 years ago at 2:39 pmLesson of the day: Always check to see if the owner is a hot girl before deciding to return a phone or not.
10 years ago at 2:45 pm