An Analysis Of The Skills And Maneuvers Of Las Vegas Strippers

bdiddy277 years ago

I recently spent three days in Las Vegas, Nevada for a bachelor party. I do not gamble, and I charged most of my meals to the room of my wealthy friend.

I returned with $2500 less than I arrived with.

How?

Las Vegas strippers.

Las Vegas strippers got me good, and they are the best in the world at what they do. Fact.

These women do certain things that make it difficult for one to hold onto their cash; at the bare minimum stay within a budget. Reflecting on my trip, I realized like five different things that stood out to me. In an attempt to both honor and educate — hopefully helping some young dudes embarking on similar trips in the process — I want to bring light to a few moves pulled by these women. I want to even the playing field a little bit more, and this exposure is the only way I know to do that. Tip of the cap, though, to the women of Spearmint Rhino Las Vegas. I love you.

Shot Clock

Most private dances last 30 minutes. Beforehand, strippers will spend some casual time with you at your table or at the bar, lowering your guard and setting the hook. When you bite and hand over the two-hundred dollars, you’ll follow the sultry dancer to the back room. For the first 28 minutes, she dances. She puts the vibe out and dances on you with a feigned sincerity that your drunk ass can’t see through. Unless you’re a professional athlete, she keeps the dance low-key. At minute 29 — recognizing the internal shot clock like all the great ones do — she will nibble on your neck/ear or suckle a lobe.

“I feel a connection with you,” she says. “I want more time together.”

She will lick your face after making that last remark. Naturally, and commensurate with millions of years of male evolution, you hand her another $200 bones and you wonder if she is going to enjoy living in Louisiana with you.

Double Doctorate In Medicine And Law

She is forward about the fact that she’s only stripping because she needs the funds to complete her medicine and/or legal education. This should be something we see through. We don’t, because they’re good. They have memorized certain terms from WebMD and tell you that after this shift they need to “brush up on pertinent symptoms and indications of acute pancreatitis.” You give her $300 dollars to put her muff on your chin and wish her well on upcoming exams.

Flattery

This is why they are in Las Vegas and not back home in Buffalo.

You go into the strip club knowing these women are going to try and take your money and are going to try and seduce you in order to achieve that result. You know this. Very well.

It doesn’t matter.

I was sitting next to a good friend of mine on this trip when a gorgeous dancer approached and sat on his face. Then she sat on his lap.

“Oh, my. You are the most attractive man I’ve ever seen.”

She was good. My buddy is a great guy and an elite human, but solely basing likability on his physical appearance/prowess doesn’t work in his favor. He looked at me, laughed and then turned back towards her.

“Thank you for saying that; it means a lot. But my wife of four years doesn’t even believe that.”

He laughed again. The conversation should have been over, and she should have moved on. But she didn’t. She leaned closer — hammers out — and dropped a velvet line.

“I’m serious. You are exactly my type. Everything about you is what I like. Short, thin hair, soft body… I love it. I love it all.”

Per training, she licked his face. He wasn’t smiling anymore. He gave her $300 and followed her to the back room.

These women possess an innate skill to target your points of pride and figuratively stroke them (literal strokes cost like $450).

“Real” Names

When you feel like you’re different from all the other guys — like you actually have a real connection with one of the ladies — she has you (read: your wallet). The most effective way for a stripper to get this ball rolling is providing you with their “real” name.

“Ugh, I have to use a fake name because of all these weird guys that come in here. You’re not like that. I like you. My real name isn’t Evanescence, it’s Amber. Let’s speak further.”

Her real name was not Amber. You spent $300 to make that deduction.

Elite Athleticism

The shit these women do within the clustered confines of tables and chairs is impressive. Like, really impressive. They are also absolutely gorgeous and possess bodies that deserve to be cut into marble. That’s why, when a somersault to handstand combo ends up on your groin amidst a large group of people, you let the cash fly. This is a warranted payment. But just be mindful of the price you pay. Think ROI (Return On Investment). In strip clubs, that return is in a private room, not out on the floor.

Good luck..

Image via Shutterstock