Some Psycho(s) Killed A 200lb Black Bear And Just Left It On NC State’s Campus
You ever walk through campus early in the week, with final exams approaching, you’re tired and cranky, and all you can think to yourself is, “Ugh, school suc- OH SHIT A DEAD BEAR!!!”
No, you probably haven’t,* unless you happened to be on NC State’s campus today, where they found this furry guy just hanging out all dead and stuff on a random bench.
*West Virginia University is excluded from that statement as I assume they routinely slaughter the bears that wander about their hill campus and consume their meat in dining hall stews.
The 200lb black bear was found on a bench next to Bostian Hall near the Brickyard on NC State’s campus. According to authorities, the bear was killed somewhere else and then purposely placed on the bench. That is pretty disconcerting, because the list of people who would kill a bear and then leave it out in public is short and terrifying. Here is my list of suspects:
1. The world’s strongest serial killer. (You don’t want to be the college kid with nice skin that runs into a serial killer who strangles bears instead of cats. You will not survive that encounter.)
2. Two or more drunk fraternity guys whose bloodlust was no longer slaked by turkeys.
3. Davey Crockett’s ghost.
4. Vengeful hill people come to reclaim their land.
Seriously, what in the hell happened here? Who kills a bear and leaves it on campus? If you have any information, email me.
Had too many bear fights last night, wound up bear-assed on a park bench this morning.
11 years ago at 1:02 pmpledges.
11 years ago at 2:00 pmPutin did it
11 years ago at 2:20 pmProbably just the product of Channel 4 News Team’s bear fight.
11 years ago at 2:39 pmIt’s the bear necessities the simple bear necessities
11 years ago at 4:48 pmHow this bears night began:
11 years ago at 5:08 pmThat was an utter failure, and im disappointed in myself.
11 years ago at 5:09 pmI think this was the work of FarmHouse no doubt
11 years ago at 5:59 pmI think FarmHouse did it no doubt
11 years ago at 6:00 pmThe pledges have outdone themselves.
11 years ago at 10:55 pmMowgli pledge lost a very close friend.
11 years ago at 12:43 am