Someone Has Been Diagnosed With Ebola In Texas And It’s Probably Time To Panic
A patient in Dallas, Texas, is the first person ever in the United States to be diagnosed with the Ebola virus.
For those of you who are uninformed idiots, Ebola is basically a death sentence. According to the Center for Disease Control, Ebola causes viral hemorrhagic fever, which can affect multiple organ systems in the body and is often accompanied by bleeding. Early symptoms include sudden onset of fever, weakness, muscle pain, headaches, and a sore throat, each of which can be easily mistaken early on for other ailments, such as malaria, typhoid fever, meningitis, or even the plague. After that, you die.
The survival rate is on par with an American League pitcher’s batting average. The disease can take up to three weeks to reveal itself, and it is contagious if you come into contact with someone who’s been affected. So, it’s good to stay away from large crowds if the cases start to multiply.
Ebola in Dallas. So this would be a really good time to go to a music festival with close to a 100,000 people #ACL2014
— Charley Finance (@CharleyFinance) September 30, 2014
Shit.
The Ebola scare started this summer, when missionaries from North Carolina and Texas were diagnosed with the disease and flown back to the United States for treatment. This new patient was also doing mission work, then got on a plane full of people and flew back to the United States, carrying the deadly virus.
I hate to be that guy, but can we temper down the mission work in these African countries for a bit? Maybe, just maybe, instead we could go rebuild some homes in West Virginia or do something nice for Florida…? God only knows what terrible things we could fix in Florida. Then, after this all subsides, we can go back to Africa. Please?
It may not matter. I am resigned to my fate. We’re doomed.
[via CNN]
Image via Twitter
I hate to be the one to point out the flaw in this article, but all of the Americans that have been infected thus far have been treated and have recovered, using a nicotine extract From Kentucky tobacco I might add.
11 years ago at 5:24 pmSource: http://mobile.bloomberg.com/news/2014-08-05/ebola-drug-made-from-tobacco-plant-saves-u-s-aid-workers.html
They haven’t found everybody who’s been in contact with the patient
11 years ago at 5:34 pmThat’s also not even close to the same ebola case.
11 years ago at 5:35 pmHey look on the bright side, if you get Ebola and die, TFM won’t miss a beat.
11 years ago at 5:25 pmThanks Obama
11 years ago at 5:26 pmAs long as Ebola can’t survive in a bottle of whiskey, I think we’ll be alright.
11 years ago at 5:31 pmYou retarded stickers? How about you do some research on the Ebola virus before you write an article about it. It’s not the common cold and can only be spread through bodily fluids which is why it can spread through a 3rd world country in Africa. But this is America, people aren’t bathing in the same river others are shitting in so we have a lot less to be worried about. Stop treating mainstream media like it’s the gospel and calm your tits.
11 years ago at 5:32 pmAlso, touch. Any break in the skin. We’re basically already dead.
11 years ago at 5:34 pmIts not magic ya idiot.
11 years ago at 5:42 pmDamn you are so dumb. No damn touch, its not like you touch them and then woosh youre infected. Hell no, what do you not understand about bodily damn fluids??? And then those fluids have to make it inside someone somehow for it to infect them. So he is right, we have a little something called infrastructure and a government (no matter how totally shit and liberal at least they have power and the ability to help), and we arent half monkey so im pretty sure this first case is the last case in America.
11 years ago at 6:29 pmAnd the survival rate in Africa is around 50%, that is a Country that can barely afford to feed the malnourished and rely on a Country like the US and the WHO to control and treal the virus. However, if the virus were to be controlled here, the amount of resources spent on ONE patient would be exponentially higher than someone in a Liberian village. Please, as long as the individuals don’t have preexisting conditions such as liver failure, low white blood cell count, etc, mortality rate would be minimal.
However if it were to become airborn like that strain that hit North Carolina (?), then it would really cause panic and the CDC and the Military would need to overcome bureaucracy in a short period of time or we’d all be fucked.
11 years ago at 9:21 amThe danger in Ebola comes from it’s evolutionary path, which has some researchers convinced it will one day mutate into an airborne virus (if it does this before a cure or vaccine is introduced, we are the walking dead level of fucked).
Source study: http://www.nature.com/srep/2012/121115/srep00811/full/srep00811.html
These researchers are Canadian though, so grain of salt I guess.
11 years ago at 6:21 pmObviously your pledge process is for pussies
11 years ago at 6:59 pmGod damn helmet stickers you’re stupid. Chill the hell out and drink a beer.
11 years ago at 5:38 pmGood thing we have a great health care system to combat it…oh wait
11 years ago at 5:40 pmAlmost a year to the day that HealthCare.gov launched and this happens. Clearly the two are directly related.
11 years ago at 5:41 pmCoincidence? I think not!
11 years ago at 1:41 amSurprised FOX News didn’t pick this up and run a marathon with it.
11 years ago at 11:47 amI vetted your source. There is Ebola in Texas.
http://www.foxnews.com/health/2014/09/30/cdc-confirms-first-case-ebola-in-us/
11 years ago at 6:06 pmWhoever you are Helmetstickers, you’re a fucking idiot. Perhaps do some goddamned research before you publish something that may actually have an impact, coming from a site like this.
11 years ago at 6:53 pm