Spring Breakers Wear Fake TFM Press Passes On The Beach To Get Laid, Girls Swarm

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Is anyone else on the beach wearing press passes? No. Is there any event or noteworthy occurrence on the beach that is worthy of press coverage? Nah, probably not. Is there a restricted area on the beach that only allows those with press credentials to enter? Of course not. Is it a great fucking idea to make fake Total Frat Move press passes to wear on the beach in order to pick up girls and get laid? Absolutelymotherfucking yes.

And by how much did the chances of these guys getting laid skyrocket? 10,000 percent–that’s how much.

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Just look at these geniuses. The ladies love them. No matter that their black and white press passes are printed on standard copy paper and laminated at Kinkos, and that they’re using the old TFM logo, they look legit enough to take these sand sloots back to the Holiday Inn. And how about this fucker with the walkie talkie? Who’s supposed to be on the other end of the line, TFM Headquarters?

“Alpha One to Bacon…Alpha One to Bacon. Is the hotel room clear? Over.”

These brilliant dickheads. They’re going to need crutches all next week after all the sex they’re having. It’s too bad the photos aren’t clear enough to zoom in on the passes and see the names they chose to use. Real names or aliases? I have to know. I swear if my name is on one, I’m flying these assholes to Austin and buying them dinner.

I love this move.

  1. ToWhiteToCare

    Dorn’s going to start flashing his press pass to young boys at Chuck-E-Cheese and ask for a “private interview” in the ball pit.

    11 years ago at 2:23 pm
    1. Dillon Cheverere

      Typo in your username, or do you not know the difference in “to” and “too”?

      11 years ago at 2:37 pm
  2. bignasty

    Pretending to be something you’re not… TFM? Actually explains alot about this website if you think about it.

    11 years ago at 3:40 pm
  3. PursuitofFrattiness9

    When I saw them at the hotel I thought they were TFM reps dressing sarcastically.

    Makes sense now.

    11 years ago at 4:20 pm
  4. Eugenicist at Large

    You’re such a dunce for blowing their cover this early in the week. A great column could have been written using their experiences.

    11 years ago at 5:21 pm