Stripper Calls Out Two Kansas City Royals For Being Cheap At The Club
The Kansas City Royals are in Minneapolis today to start a series against the division rival Minnesota Twins. The club arrived in Minnesota last night after finishing a home series with the Angels, and as rich men with lots of days off are wont to do, a couple Royals pitchers decided to hit the town, or more specifically, hit a strip club, after touching down in the Land of 10,000 Lakes. Seems like a pretty standard Sunday night for pro athletes, really. That’s where NBA teams host their potluck dinners, after all.
However, the two Royals, pitchers Bruce Chen and Yordano Ventura, apparently weren’t willing to drop the kind of coin one would symbolically expect of normal wealthy men, or literally expect of hilarious rich dudes (throwing handfuls of Sacagawea dollars out of a chest at a strip club like some sort of pirate lord is definitely something I would do if I both had enough money to be that wasteful and was that numb to basic human empathy — I’m halfway there!).
One of the club’s strippers was not happy about the hurlers’ thriftiness, and took to Twitter to vent about not having a few hundo slapped in and around her.
Lol lol lol I didn't believe this dude was pro MLB player bc he was so cheap just googled the KC roster ohai Bruce Chen DUDE IS WACK
— Feminist Stripper (@feministripper) June 30, 2014
OH WAIT SILLY ME I SEEMED TO HAVE FORGOTTEN THAT *ALL* PRO ATHLETES ARE CHEAP DICKBAGS #stripperproblems
— Feminist Stripper (@feministripper) June 30, 2014
I'm about shaming trashdick pro athletes @ work; the #KCRoyals players that came in last night, spent $20 were #BruceChen & @YordanoVentura
— Feminist Stripper (@feministripper) June 30, 2014
Please note the stripper’s Twitter name and let the irony wash over you. Bask in it.
In case our disgruntled entertainer is wondering, it’s not so much that pro athletes are cheap across the board (though I’m willing to bet a lot of them try to pay as little as possible) as it is that they probably don’t feel the need to drop a grand on a Minnesota stripper. Atlanta? Houston? LA? New York? Miami? You better believe their tab is going to be roughly half of what an Iraq veteran was making per year while on active duty. They might even get in a Mexican standoff or throw bottles of Dom at people’s faces over one of those strippers. But in Minnesota don’t be surprised if instead of sliding a black card through your ass crack, it’s a Target gift card, which is perfectly acceptable currency in Minnesota anyway.
It’s tough not to side with the stripper, though, considering Ventura gave her enough for a quarter-tank of gas and then propositioned her for sex.
.@YordanoVentura didn't hesitate to pull the ultimate classic #stripperproblems "no I don't want dances but come back to my hotel room" SMDH
— Feminist Stripper (@feministripper) June 30, 2014
Minnesota strippers get no respect.
The Feminist Stripper has made her Twitter account private. Her privates, presumably, are still public, however.
She’s empowering women everywhere by shakin’ it for dollar bills…
10 years ago at 1:53 pmDolla dolla bills y’all
10 years ago at 12:26 amTo be expected from a second rate ball club that hasn’t had a winning season in nearly 25 years
10 years ago at 1:56 pm2003 isn’t quite 25 years, but as a fan, even 11 years still sucks.
10 years ago at 2:05 pmWhere were you last year?
10 years ago at 5:07 pmLaps taken. We should have ended stronger last season anyways and at least put ourselves in the post season.
10 years ago at 9:43 pmDidn’t know 2013 was 25 years ago
10 years ago at 2:17 pmThere is clearly discrepancy about when their last winning season occurred. This discrepancy says it all.
10 years ago at 2:55 pmThey went 86-76 last year. Real shitty attempt at being clever.
10 years ago at 9:41 pmUpon further review of her twitter, I’m surprised they even offered her money. That’s a man.
10 years ago at 1:58 pmThanks for the analysis chief
10 years ago at 11:07 pmBased on that Twitter avi, I can’t say I blame them.
10 years ago at 2:11 pm“Cheap dickbag”… Funny, that’s how I would describe her vag
10 years ago at 2:17 pmCongratulations to the black man, Lucy not so much.
10 years ago at 8:37 amI wouldn’t spend any money on her. God beat that hoe with the ugly stick.
10 years ago at 2:21 pmGive Yordano a break, he’s on a rookie contract throwing 99. He might blow that shit out before he gets paid. When the Royals are in town, don’t expect much, she should know this by now.
10 years ago at 3:48 pmJust a classic case of someone bitching about a shitty job
10 years ago at 4:56 pm