Student Put “Horny Goat Weed” Pills In His Teacher’s Drink So She’d Chill Out

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Petty revenge is the best revenge. There is no warranted reason to provoke your vengeful actions. You probably have no grounds to ruin this person’s day, but there is nothing more important to you at the time than successfully completing your retribution.

While planning your shitty revenge, it is best to clarify the effects of whatever stunt you plan on letting loose. A Charlotte, N.C., high school student discovered that horny goat weed doesn’t actually contain any weed. It remains illegal, though, and there isn’t a store in North Carolina willing to sell arousing pot pills over the counter. Despite these setbacks, the Alexander County High School student continued with his plan.

From WSOCTV:

Police say an Alexander County High School student is accused of slipping a pill into his teacher’s drink.

They said he thought by giving her the herbal supplement Horny Goat Weed it would help get her fired.

“The teacher walked into her classroom and saw students messing with something,” said school resource officer Michael Millsaps.

Taylorsville police said a student was putting something in her drink out of revenge after the teacher took away the student’s Chrome Book in class, but the 15-year-old boy tossed out the drink he tampered with before she got to it.

Police said he put Horny Goat Weed in her drink.

Sadly, despite its misnomer, Horny Goat Weed is actually used to treat joint pain, high blood pressure, and fatigue.

“The student took a pill and crushed it to a powder before putting it in his teacher’s drink. They said he thought if she took it, it might change her behavior,” according to investigators.

“He just heard the word ‘weed’ and thought it was maybe some marijuana-type pill,” said Millsaps. “He wanted the teacher to do something stupid and cause her to get fired.”

The time he used to dick around on his Chromebook was obviously spent at the cost of learning some fucking common sense and critical thinking skills.

The boys in juvie are going to love this story.

[via WSOCTV]

  1. Theta_Theta

    But will the boys in dorm’s basement love this story? #justiceforthekids2014

    11 years ago at 9:57 am
    1. Fribby

      Dude he doesn’t let them have access to sunlight, let alone a computer. #RogerDornSighting

      11 years ago at 10:12 am
      1. Theta_Theta

        I’m pretty sure to sadistically torture them Dorn shows them the day’s articles

        11 years ago at 10:17 am
  2. DTDrunk

    Is it telling that the first article of the week on this website is about a high schooler? Don’t bother to hide the new direction any more, guys.

    11 years ago at 9:59 am
    1. The Gamefrock

      Are you suggesting they should stop and cut their audience in half? C’mon son

      11 years ago at 11:10 am
  3. Frapist

    Wells, I’m gonna spike your coffee with a few chromosomes. Hopefully it will change your autistic behavior.

    11 years ago at 10:13 am
  4. TooBusyYachting

    Is TFM going to cover the auburn shooting at all? I mean I get that it’s now old news and all…

    11 years ago at 10:22 am