Study Shows Most Men Are Terrible At Sex
According to “The New Naked: The Ultimate Sex Education for Grown-Ups,” a book recently published by Dr. Harry Fisch, 43 percent of men only last about two minutes in bed. Apparently, there are quite a few “two-pump chumps” out there–two sweet, sensual pumps. The average was calculated to be 7.3 minutes, but that statistic is totally skewed by porn stars who rail each other for hours on end.
Dr. Fisch also points out that men tend to be bothered more than women by the fact that sex only lasts about two minutes, which I find to be complete bullshit. No woman has ever said, “Oh, I sure am glad that we only had sex for two minutes! I needed to get back to reading about sluts on Yik Yak.”
So, ladies, if you’ve found a guy who can last longer than two minutes, you should probably try to keep him. Otherwise, according to statistics, you have a good chance of being forever disappointed sexually.
[via USA Today]
I was a two pump chump for Dorn’s mom and never called her back.
11 years ago at 5:36 pmJust like my final grades this semester, I’m sitting happily in the meat of the curve
11 years ago at 5:43 pmYou sit on meat?
11 years ago at 12:18 amThis is less bad than most of your other articles, Durant.
11 years ago at 5:45 pmDurant, you telling us about sex is like Ray Charles telling us what its like to see Dorn’s mom naked
11 years ago at 5:48 pmAt the end of the day I’m just trying to slay
11 years ago at 6:21 pm
11 years ago at 6:22 pmYou were so close.
11 years ago at 12:16 amThey ignore the fact that most women are bad in bed: no head, just lay there and take it, etc. Don Jon style.
11 years ago at 6:24 pmTwo pump champ*… You had a typo in your third line.
11 years ago at 8:29 pmInteresting topic from a writer who hasn’t even closed on an OTPHJ.
11 years ago at 8:35 pmIt seriously has always made me confused as hell when I had sex for 30 minutes to an hour with girls and they are surprised as all hell. I’d look at them and think, “Isn’t this normal, am I some kind of freak of nature.”
Sex is apparently a race to an orgasm that I keep losing. Whatever bitches keep coming back.
11 years ago at 8:58 pm