Stuff Frat People Like: Back to School
It’s amazing the difference a few years make. Back in our younger days, the end of summer symbolized an end to freedom and had a cataclysmic effect on our happiness. Middle and high school summers were full of stacks of summer reading and dread over the upcoming hours of scholastic captivity. Now, in your years of fraternal excellence, the complete opposite is true.
No matter how you may have spent your summer, be it working or relaxing or even staying in your collegiate town of choice, the beginning of fall is something you’ve eagerly been waiting for. While you may have been happy to be away from the dull responsibility of class for a bit, lets be honest you were ready to get back to the Frat Castle within the first week.
The new year represents a whole new beginning, and it’s always good to set a few goals before you chug that first beer in honor of a fresh start. These goals could be anything from completing your sexual gauntlet of sororities, going out a minimum four nights a week, or even to raising your GPA. Whatever your ambitions may be, I suggest you get started right away to make this year your best yet. And if you’re a senior (like me) this holds doubly true. This is our last chance to make a mark on our universities and frat our undergrad asses off. By all means we will capitalize.
Finally, you will have pledges to answer to your whims once again (“These boots aren’t going to shine themselves!”). A whole slew of gorgeous freshmen girls will be gracing your sororities on campus (too easy). Kickoff to another amazing college football season is just around the corner (though I don’t plan on remembering the games). I could go on all day about why a new year is great, but I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know.
The summer has ended, brothers, and we are on the cusp of a year so full of debauchery and blatant disregard to our livers that our mothers are literally fearing for our lives. We only get three and a half years of fratting (three if you’re a spring pledge/aka pussy), and by God we’re going to make them the best we can. When you pour that first glass of whiskey, chug that first beer, or toss that first ping pong ball into a cup, remember the repetitiveness of your summer and remember to enjoy every moment of some of the greatest years of our lives.
First!
13 years ago at 3:56 pmwow, youre life really sucks
13 years ago at 4:32 pmWow, your spelling really sucks.
13 years ago at 5:50 pmActually, his grammar really sucks.
13 years ago at 7:28 pmActually, his penis is really small.
13 years ago at 11:06 am^
13 years ago at 8:57 pm^^Who is this guy?
13 years ago at 10:22 pmActually, your joke wasn’t funny.
13 years ago at 9:16 am^ Gay!
13 years ago at 3:58 pmuse the reply button, bro.
13 years ago at 3:59 pmThe reply button is gay.
13 years ago at 4:04 pmtoo phrat to care?
13 years ago at 4:05 pmShut the phuck up.
13 years ago at 8:36 pm^ this seems phun
13 years ago at 9:13 pm^ *fun. Learn to spell, moron.
13 years ago at 9:39 pm^ apparently you didn’t get the memo that the “f” was being replaced by a “ph” in the previous comments… go take a lap
13 years ago at 9:54 pmMy bad. You’re gay!
13 years ago at 10:07 amPh sound in nf
13 years ago at 6:54 pm^ Your comment. Nph
13 years ago at 1:51 amI see what you did there
13 years ago at 12:44 am^^Something was definitely done here.
13 years ago at 10:28 pmGood column. Makes me excited tobget started again.
13 years ago at 4:01 pmSecond. Fuel for the fire.
13 years ago at 5:07 pmI don’t remember 2008.
13 years ago at 10:42 pmTobget. NF.
13 years ago at 2:17 amTegbot – FN
13 years ago at 11:13 amOnly two more weeks and the shitshow begins.
13 years ago at 4:02 pm3 days till move in, a week more until classes for us.
13 years ago at 4:15 pmToday my father asked me, “What booze are you bringing to school?”
Neither of us have shown any concern about getting school supplies.
13 years ago at 10:45 pm^Bro, you and your father are frat as fuck. I’m amazed at the fact that there are fraternity men out there that are worried about partying supplies before school supplies.
13 years ago at 9:49 pm^ Fuckin’ Nate Higgers. I didn’t even fuckin’ notice that shit ’till the third time I looked at it. Goddamn genius.
13 years ago at 2:02 amNitro Hazelton is a fucking troll.
13 years ago at 4:05 pmSo, you have something better to do than mess with people on TFM?
13 years ago at 4:06 pmNot having anything else better to do than troll. NF.
13 years ago at 4:18 pmNot having anyone else better to do than a troll. NF
13 years ago at 10:24 pmDoing a troll. TFTC
13 years ago at 9:53 amI’d pay her troll toll.
13 years ago at 10:20 amfucking classic episode ^
13 years ago at 10:47 amNitro wants the boy’s hole.
13 years ago at 11:48 am^ Cool Cats Club
13 years ago at 1:54 amSounds like your summers sucked dick in HS, I had summers in Charleston, getting ready for football season, and the classic Texas tradition of Two-A-Days, complete with scrimmages vs worthless scrub teams… And what the fuck is summer reading?
13 years ago at 4:12 pmYou missed the point.
13 years ago at 4:15 pmEasy there Wooderson.
13 years ago at 4:27 pmas we speak OldSouthPancakeHouse is sitting in a dark room wearing his lettermans jacket and watching varsity blues and friday night lights on repeat.
13 years ago at 5:01 pmNo summer reading. TtexaspublicschoolM.
13 years ago at 5:23 pmI’m assuming you didn’t attend boarding school or private school.
13 years ago at 5:30 pmYou are hardass.. Anyone agree?
13 years ago at 5:52 pmWhat is that supposed to mean? Because he didn’t know what summer reading was nor had the common sense to assume what it may happen to be?..
13 years ago at 6:12 pmOld South is awesome. Cool story though, sounds like you really miss 10th grade..
13 years ago at 7:52 pmJV superstar
13 years ago at 9:56 pmScout team all-star
13 years ago at 10:29 pmThat kid that wanted to play football but was just water/equipment boy.
13 years ago at 12:48 amI went to an all male Prep school. I looked forward to going back in the fall. I think the Percentage of Graduates who joined Fraternities after is like 87% or something. I think around 80% of our faculty was greek in college too.
13 years ago at 8:39 amTwo-A-Days. NF.
13 years ago at 11:08 amTwo-B-Jays. FaF
13 years ago at 11:49 amYou think two-a-days are just a Texas tradition snowflake? Really?
13 years ago at 1:10 pmSummer reading is reading that is done in the summer. OldSouthPancakeHouse was probably too busy fucking the sleeve of his favorite letterman jacket to realize this.
13 years ago at 2:39 pmI mean, believe it or not, college athletes come from high school football teams that have two-a-days. But, let’s have a small group discussion about not knowing what summer reading is. It’s goddamn self explanatory. Regardless, I never fuckin’ had two a days, and I doubt Old Mancake House did either. Just another nerd on the internet trying to look cool to a bunch of fuckin’ other nerds he’ll never meet.
13 years ago at 2:00 amGod damn this column makes me want to chug a beer.
13 years ago at 4:15 pmThere’s nothing stopping you.
13 years ago at 6:38 pmSummer job, NF.
13 years ago at 4:24 pmBeer pong, NF.
Not already having a 4.0, NF.
Going to class, NF.
Me, NF.
^Really?
13 years ago at 5:10 pmApparently.
13 years ago at 8:20 pmYeah. I’m in Pike.
13 years ago at 8:21 pm^Sorry we have a two pike troll limit on this site. They are RushPike69 and the Piker. If they do slip up, then don’t worry son, you may make varsity soon enough.
13 years ago at 11:43 pm^ hahaha
13 years ago at 11:59 pmMotion to bench RushPike69 for underperformance the past few weeks and see if BlazersKhakisNattys has enough game for the big leagues. Besides, it would get rid of RushPike69 for awhile.
13 years ago at 9:49 amI heard he killed himself
13 years ago at 9:24 am^Wishful thinking. Keeping my fingers crossed.
13 years ago at 10:14 pmAhh, college. The best 4-7 years of your life.
13 years ago at 7:26 pm4 years? At the rate I’m going I won’t graduate until my 6th or 7th year
13 years ago at 7:55 pmPlenty of people go to college for 7 years, their called doctors.
13 years ago at 7:15 amYou might want to take an 8th year to figure out the whole they’re/their concept.
13 years ago at 7:21 amYou fucking moron. I’m not the grammar police but they’re called doctors. Which I’m assuming you won’t be one.
13 years ago at 11:51 amDoctors are overrated. And I’m going for a 4 year degree which is going to take me 7 years. Mississippi Fratstar, you are really fucking stupid considering you didn’t read the part that said, “At the rate I’m going…” Cheese dick.
13 years ago at 7:45 pm^ This. My slam’s old man is a doctor in a family clinic. He encourages her brother to abort pre-med and try a different path. Apparently there’s some sort of presidential healthcare thing going on that’s going to give doctors the big democrat dick in the butt.
13 years ago at 2:09 am