Summa — Laude: Publix Censors 100% Innocent Graduation Cake Because Of The Word “Cum”

El Taco7 years ago

A proud South Carolina mother ordered a cake for her very smart son recently, only to find Publix’s online ordering system decided to omit a highly important word because it was deemed too “profane.”

From The Washington Post:

Carefully, she typed in the words she wanted on the cake: “Congrats Jacob! Summa Cum Laude class of 2018.”

Publix’s online system was unhappy with the word “cum.”

In Latin, cum is the preposition “with,” as in summa cum laude, “with the highest distinction.” To the little box on the Publix website, however, the word meant something else and its strict algorithm, vigilant for naughty words, returned a message that said “profane/special characters not allowed.” Cum, which contains no special characters, was deemed profane.

Honestly, I have no idea how any news anchors were able to report this story with any sense of seriousness. Also, I’m guessing the baker or cake maker on-call that day eats rocks in their free time. That or they majored in art and have no idea what “summa cum laude” is.

It’s somewhat alarming that Publix even has an offensive language robot making judgement calls in the first place. Like, what brought them to this? Were there too many cakes being ordered that featured “Happy Cum-iversary” or “Happy Birthday, Cum Slut” slipping through the cracks? I’m just mad that someone out there gets paid to type dirty words into a computer and make rash judgement calls based on little anecdotal evidence. Wait, no; I already do that.

Since The Washington Post was able to replicate this, I decided to do the same. I’m happy to report that 8====D still appears to be a viable cake option at Publix. And, if you’re thevaginator, a more accurate interpretation 8=D also appears to be available. Suck it, nerd.

It just goes to show that being smarter than everyone else will get you nowhere in this world. Luckily for the rest of us, no one has ever censored “Congrats on your third M.I.P.” on a cake. I’ll happily have my cake and drink booze with it, too..

[via The Washington Post]

Image via Facebook/Cara Koscinski