If You Don’t Think Sunday Is The Best Day Of The Week, You Do Sunday Wrong

bdiddy277 years ago

If you are currently in college, hangovers aren’t really a thing to you yet. Not real hangovers, at least. Your body is operating at a high level and shit is being processed in an efficient and quick manner. That’s great. Enjoy it while you can *Billy Madison “stay here” face shake*.

In time, though (typically after the first quarter of your life is up), the hangover will become one of your biggest opponents; up there with mother-in-laws and Facebook gender reveals. Sunday “fun-day” will die, and your body will feel the effects of partying. This is okay. If you embrace it, and make hangover Sunday a part of your life, you will continue to rage just as hard — if not harder — post grad as you did in school. It all starts with your Sunday routine.

Reducing the amount and type of partying you do as you age is always an option too, though. It is. That same option (giving up) was also on the table for Paul Revere and Sammy Adams and J. Hancock and the boys, too. Luckily, they persisted. Sam kept making the beer and the squad kept going. You should do the same. After college, concerning the drinking and other activities that constitute your weekend, keep going. Your Sunday routine is how.

Here are the five most important components of Sunday recovery that will most optimally recharge your battery:

Food Delivery

Employ mobile applications such as Wait’r or Uber Eats. Make them come to you. Also, try and focus on complex carbohydrates. Get aggressive with the pizza and breakfast sandwiches. I can’t stress enough: do not leave to get the food. That’s what is important. This is your day of rest. Get vertical on the couch and let the sustenance (food) come to you. Draw straws amongst your roommates or friends to determine who has to make the arduous trek to the door to grab said delivery.

Morning Excuse

Do not let her stay over. It doesn’t matter if she is a significant other — she needs to go. Sundays are about restorative rest, football, food, and gas. You cannot pass the gas you need and poop like you should when she is lingering. The only effort you exert on this day of rest if she tries to stay over is getting out of bed and faking like you have somewhere to be. Splurge on the Uber for her if you have to. It’s worth it. Be sure to verbalize that you are going to mass and/or meeting your family for brunch. She will want no part of it.

Football/Netflix

If you play fantasy football like you should, purchase NFL Sunday Ticket — at minimum Red Zone. Rotate back and forth between relevant games. This, aside from the aforementioned walk to the door for delivered nourishment and lady exit, are the only types of strain you should endure. Try to watch whatever game Romo is calling, too, as falling asleep to his insight and knowledge will resonate with your cat-napping subconscious, and you will wake up with an eye for play-calling like Rain Man at the B-jack table. Utilize Netflix if and only if you are playing your roommate in fantasy and you are losing. Let him know this is your house, you’re in control, and fuck him and the Rams D with 27 points he rode in on.

Naps

Today is an absolute shutdown day. Limit distraction and any positive contribution to society you may have contemplated making. Nap instead. Fill the stomach with pizza and water and then head to snooze city (you’re mayor). This is where the bodily restoration really grabs hold. Embrace it.

End The Day On Your Terms

When 9 or 10 p.m. rolls around and you’ve put both a good 10 hours of rest and a large pie under your belt, do a couple things before taking it to the bedroom. First, clean up. In surface-level, dude fashion, take out a trash bag and put every cardboard box and bottle/can from the weekend in it. Always recycle, too (#SaveTheWhales). Tidy up the living room area or wherever you went sloth mode and hit it with some Febreze. Then, take it to the shower. Feel good, feel refreshed, send a text to the lady from the morning telling her your mom missed her at church, then shut it down.

You need these Sundays. This is how you keep partying in your mid to late 20s. Cultivate a routine that works best for you and do the things that optimize your recovery. When you end your weekend in this way, Fridays and Saturdays are yours. Carpe the shit out of those diems and let it fly. Sunday is when you get it all back..

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