New STD Increases Sex Drive And Causes Sterility
A new parasitic virus has been discovered to increase sex drive and cause sterility in males while having no noticeable sexual effect on females. Not only does it make you want sex more often, but it also makes you more “enthusiastic” as well. The virus is passed through sexual contact, meaning women and men can spread it to all of their partners.
Sounds like the coolest STD ever right? No more condoms and no more whiskey dick. Well, before you go raw dogging anything you can get your hands on hoping to hit the STD “jackpot,” it’s worth noting that the parasite has only been observed in crickets, and the crickets, well, die after they’ve been infected.
Really, this STD sounds terrible. There’s also the part where the parasites “use hormones, neurotransmitters, and proteins to disconnect the host’s brain from its immune system, to ensure the parasite survives, and change the infected animal’s behavior,” kind of like if the spores from The Last of Us were an STD. This could be the end of the human race. All men become sterile by the disease, but desperately want to bone, thereby spreading the disease further. Mother Nature, you ingenious bitch.
If you were terminal and knew you were on the way out though, this could quite possibly be the best way to go.
[via Live 105]
Well that just sounds dandy.
11 years ago at 12:08 pmGod that’s terrifying
11 years ago at 12:08 pmboning chicks until your brain disconnects from your nervous system? sounds like the best way out
11 years ago at 12:09 pmThanks Obama
11 years ago at 12:09 pmWhat a shitty fucking news story. Only found in crickets who gives a fuck!
11 years ago at 12:10 pmSlow news day, huh?
11 years ago at 12:10 pmSo I can only get this thing if I bone a cricket? That’ll be a fun newspaper headline.
11 years ago at 12:10 pmYeah I can see it now: Needle Dick (Auburn, Clemson, LSU, Mizzou) Fan Fornicates With Field Cricket, Cricket Left Disappointed.
11 years ago at 1:35 pmHow has the LameCocks faired against all of those teams recently?
11 years ago at 3:15 amIs there that little to write about today?
11 years ago at 12:11 pmWorth it
11 years ago at 12:13 pmSo, more sex, less babies. There are worse things than that.
11 years ago at 12:15 pmThe human race’s extinction is pretty bad, bud.
11 years ago at 5:34 pm