Taylor Swift Has Cast A Sex Spell On The World, Is Maxim’s Hottest Woman Alive
If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times (I still have no idea what this phrase means), T. Swift has cast a sex spell on the world and no one is immune. She’s like a highly contagious disease that is slowly and very surely infecting every red-blooded human on the planet, one town at a time. If you don’t yet find her crazy attractive, it’s coming. Just wait.
One minute you’re cringing at her awkward dance moves, paltry frame and terrible posture, then the next you’re imagining what she’s like in bed. You don’t know how or when it happened, but it did, and you’ve come to realize there’s a 100% chance she’s like a cornered lioness in the sheets — legs for days, the face of a temptress, and the crazy streak to bring it all together. Look at the above picture. To Swift’s left is Lily Aldridge, a Victoria’s Secret Angel. Try to tell me that Aldridge looks better than my girl Swift in that pic. Just try it. Fucking liar.
She’s the rare combination of awkwardness and pure sex. I can’t explain it, but she does it so well. Maxim agrees and has put her at #1 on the 2015 Maxim Hot 100.
Watch her new video and tell me Maxim made the wrong call here. You can’t.
Taylor, let’s settle down together when your hot streak cools down and we’ll just enjoy each other, romantically. We’ll buy a nice, yet understated house in the burbs and have like a thousand kids and jam out to “Blank Space” every day..
[via Maxim]
Image via Tinseltown / Shutterstock.com
I think the world would be a better place if Ronda Rousey beat TSwift to death.
10 years ago at 4:13 pmTake it back
10 years ago at 11:46 pmRonda Rousey. Sexy af, would let her choke me out.
10 years ago at 8:55 amAs an expert on the importance of good life preservers, trust me Taylor you should get a refund on yours.
10 years ago at 4:17 pmDorno is exactly right here. T Swift had something about her that makes the low hanging fruit hang much higher
10 years ago at 4:22 pmI get her appeal but she’s definitely not the hottest woman alive.
10 years ago at 4:26 pmHer tits aren’t great, and neither is her ass, but I’ll be damned if she isn’t freaky as fuck in bed.
10 years ago at 4:27 pmSmooth Dorno. Throwing a little dirt on the pedophile trail.
10 years ago at 4:32 pmBrunette to the immediate right of the giraffestress is piercing my soul with those eyes. And by soul I mean dick and by piercing I mean raising.
10 years ago at 4:39 pmI’d sniff her butt
10 years ago at 5:00 pmI liked the video until I saw Lena Dunham. Ruined the entire video for me.
10 years ago at 6:54 pmI’d eat that box for a minimum of four hours.
10 years ago at 8:40 pm