UPDATE: Team USA Wins by 47
Team USA won by 47, then they signed autographs for Team Tunisia afterwards.
According to Sportsbook.com, it is.
I know what everyone is thinking: The fuck is Tunisia? Well, I just Googled it, and it looks like a neat little country. They have a nice spread out there on the Mediterranean across from Italy. It’s just that their basketball is nothing to write home about. The point spread for today’s game is a whopping 55 points.
I remember one time during basketball practice my freshman year of high school (yeah, I played basketball as a freshman and I used to rain threes from anywhere on the court), we scrimmaged the girls varsity team. With the obvious Y-chromosomal advantage, our coach made us play defense with our hands behind our backs and we weren’t allowed to dribble on offense. We won the scrimmage 21 – 2. I straight stuffed the shit out of some chick with my forehead. She pump-faked me, but I didn’t bite on it. She then went up for about a 12-foot ‘J’ and I jumped and head-butted the ball about 25 feet in the air with a thunderous thud. The gym erupted. True goddamn story.
If you haven’t yet figured out where I’m going with this, Tunisia is the girls varsity team. Team USA is playing the role of my freshmen team, and they’re about to put a hurting on Tunisia something nasty. It’s still unclear whether or not they will be allowed to dribble and use their hands on defense today, but the absurd 55-point spread would suggest they will.
I’m also hearing that Vegas is considering setting a ‘Kevin Durant vs. Tunisia’ line at Durant + 1.5. Some sweet action. Don’t forget to tune in today at 5:15 ET to watch Team USA tee off on the Tunisians.
- [via USA Today]
First?
12 years ago at 11:39 am^ Nice try. Laps please
12 years ago at 1:34 pmI didn’t know basketballs could cause such head trauma.
12 years ago at 11:41 am
12 years ago at 11:44 am^ that beard can pull
12 years ago at 12:18 pm^^ dorn, where do you get those, man?
12 years ago at 1:05 pm^^^ I didn’t know your real name was Jason McElwain, Dorn. Such a feel good story. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p6cOp6EDFlI
12 years ago at 1:20 pmShe “pumped faked” you Dorn? Try again.
12 years ago at 3:03 pmfucking jeremiah johnson
12 years ago at 5:58 pmI approve this message
12 years ago at 11:52 amno, that would be LSU vs Tulane…
12 years ago at 12:05 pmNot in basketball, dumbfuck.
12 years ago at 12:47 pmwho gives a shit about basketball, dumbfuck.
12 years ago at 1:33 pma commie’s idea of a really good tailgate:
http://blogs.laweekly.com/informer/2010/06/lakers_riot_survival_guide.php
12 years ago at 1:45 pmI’m wondering how terrible the TFM staff YMCA league basketball team would be?
12 years ago at 2:07 pmWell, I could be wrong here, but I believe Tunisia is an old, old wooden ship used during the Civil War era.
12 years ago at 2:19 pmgot anymore socially relevant gems like that while you’re on a roll? Maybe a Titanic joke? No? Oh you’re just so clever and so original…. my gosh, such a clever guy.
12 years ago at 4:59 pmI like the message here, BUT I I’m fairly certain the U.S. of A. did not send our Freshman squad to London…this is all varsity without a doubt. Tunisia is still at best girls varsity.
12 years ago at 2:31 pmBut what if Tunisia’s got Ditka?
12 years ago at 3:16 pmBut what if the U.S. has a hurricane… named Ditka?
12 years ago at 9:47 pmYou rained threes from anywhere on the court? Even the paint?
12 years ago at 4:13 pmYes, to the opposite end of the court.
12 years ago at 5:03 pmIts called the key, if you want to call it the paint go play basketball in the intercity.
12 years ago at 5:15 pmHis name is addicted2quack, he probably does play in the intercity.
12 years ago at 6:25 pminner city?
12 years ago at 8:09 pmNot being able to spell and not duck hunting. NF. Pussies.
12 years ago at 9:21 pmNo, we are talking about playing basketball on trains.
12 years ago at 3:25 pm