Ted Cruz’s Freshman Year College Roommate Says He Was A Humongous D-Bag
10 years ago

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Screenwriter Craig Mazin is best known professionally for his work on Scary Movie 3, Scary Movie 4, and the last two The Hangover movies. In addition to these credits, he also holds the self-given title of “least lucky freshman of all-time” after getting matched up to spend his first year of college living with Texas Junior Senator and Republican presidential hopeful Ted Cruz.

Back in 2012, Mazin expressed his hatred towards Cruz.

Then, on January 10 of this year, to celebrate hitting 25,000 followers on his Twitter account, Mazin decided to regale the Twittersphere with stories of his time living with Ted Cruz.

If I understand this correctly, Cruz was so universally hated at Princeton that students three years his senior would let Cruz’s roommate hang out with them in order to minimize the time he had to spend with Ted? Essentially Cruz was so awful that he brought together groups of people who would have normally wanted nothing to do with each other. In a backwards sort of way, that’s kind of a great quality for a president to have.

I… can relate.

Of what is Cruhz comprised? If Cruz has discovered some sort of renewable oil source, or, even better, he is a renewable source of oil, this could be huge for the energy crisis.

Lawyer up, you just might have a case.

Hey, I’m not dumb, Cruz! Sure, I may have gotten a D in Animal Science 101, but that’s just because I thought the animal husbandry lab was an autopsy lab.

Psh. Ted Cruz probably thinks I’m too DUMB to know what “prescient” even means.

*Grabs a dictionary*

The crazy part is that there are somehow worse roommates out there than Ted Cruz.

[via Twitter]

Image via Andrew Cline / Shutterstock.com

  3. FratRugby

    This guy is an obvious liberal. Ted Cuz is the closest thing we have to a Reagan

    10 years ago at 8:43 pm
  5. FratRugby

    He wants a 10% tax rate. He wants to eliminate the IRS. He is hated by liberals and RINOs. Mark Levin and Rush Limbaugh are supporting him. The only real bad thing you can say about him is that he is from Canada. Rubio hardly wants to cut taxes and he is for mass collections of peoples private information without a warrant.

    10 years ago at 9:05 pm
    1. cleavage

      I chuckle when candidates say they are going to eliminate the IRS. Ain’t gonna happen. Nor does the executive branch even have the power to even make that call.

      10 years ago at 10:08 pm
    2. Saber and Key

      The 10% tax rate sounds great and all, except for the fact it would never actually work. The government is still operating at a huge deficit despite the current tax plan, yet Cruz thinks making a 10% flat tax (thus lowering everyone’s taxes) is going to be enough to run the government and not have us borrowing from China constantly?

      10 years ago at 8:07 am
  6. RacistAssMelly

    I’m sure Ted Cruz cries himself to sleep at night, knowing that- despite him graduating from Harvard Law, winning several supreme court cases, working at GS, and getting elected to the Senate- he’ll never have the approval of the guy who directed Scary Movie 37.

    And for every college male on here stumping for Rubes, remember that he just signed on with Kristen Gillibrand to remove your due process rights. You think Hillary is going to get beat by a featherweight who won’t challenge the bullshit “war on women” narrative she’s going to run on? Not a chance. I had my hopes set on Rubio. But now I think he’ll let Hillary set the pace, and he’ll get stomped out accordingly.

    10 years ago at 10:09 pm
  7. Jrttu15

    Rand Paul would run the tables if people only voted for what they stood for and not how they talked or how much funding they got

    10 years ago at 11:59 pm
  9. Capt dave

    I encourage you all to go back and read the “10 worst roommate stories ever” article he tagged at the bottom. Shit’s funny.

    10 years ago at 9:59 am