Te’o Releases Statement: What Does It Mean?
Manti Te’o responds to the Deadspin exposé, revealing that his highly publicized relationship with now-deceased girlfriend was a hoax:
This is incredibly embarrassing to talk about, but over an extended period of time, I developed an emotional relationship with a woman I met online. We maintained what I thought to be an authentic relationship by communicating frequently online and on the phone, and I grew to care deeply about her.
To realize that I was the victim of what was apparently someone’s sick joke and constant lies was, and is, painful and humiliating. It further pains me that the grief I felt and the sympathies expressed to me at the time of my grandmother’s death in September were in any way deepened by what I believed to be another significant loss in my life.
I am enormously grateful for the support of my family, friends and Notre Dame fans throughout this year. To think that I shared with them my happiness about my relationship and details that I thought to be true about her just makes me sick.
I hope that people can understand how trying and confusing this whole experience has been. In retrospect, I obviously should have been much more cautious. If anything good comes of this, I hope it is that others will be far more guarded when they engage with people online than I was. Fortunately, I have many wonderful things in my life, and I’m looking forward to putting this painful experience behind me as I focus on preparing for the NFL Draft.
He had to play one of two cards. Card 1: biggest dumbass in America, or Card 2: biggest dirtbag in America. Card 1 was the safer play. He went with it. And after sifting through and cleaning off as much of the chest-high bullshit as I could, here is my translation of Mr. Te’o’s statement:
“FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKK…..
Fuck fuck fuck.
Fucking fuck.
Shit!
What can I say? You busted me. You busted Manti. What started out as a funny little prank between me and my boy Ron Ron (Ronaiah Tuiasosopo) got admittedly out of control. Then, after all the publicity our scheme was getting, I was thinking, ‘Hey, this could really benefit me in the Heisman race, especially if she got into a car accident or got really sick. America will eat that up. Gotta take out Johnny Football, and hell, his girlfriend is finer than shit.’
And…..that’s when we fucked up. A few T’s didn’t get crossed, I’s didn’t get dotted, and we realized we had a chance of getting caught. So, we decided to end it the best way we knew how. We killed the bitch. Leukemia? Shit, I didn’t even know what that was. Had to Google it. Some kinda cancer, right?
Then you guys over here on the mainland with your fancy pants reporters, wireless internet and flashy computers had to go and ruin a good thing for me. Man, screw you guys. This is fucked up. Now and forever I’ll be known as ‘the dude with the fake, dead girlfriend who didn’t win the Heisman and got ear-holed by Alabama in the biggest game of his life.’ Fuck.
You damn mainlanders and your real girlfriends.
Please still draft me in the first round.”
This story is an all-timer, guys.
[via Deadspin]
Image via Bleacher Report
first
12 years ago at 8:30 pmWhat do Eddie Lacy and Lennay Kekua have in common? Manti Te’o didn’t get to hit either.
12 years ago at 10:56 pm^ ding ding ding!
12 years ago at 12:04 amTeo wasn’t missing tackles in the BCS championship game… He was hugging his girlfriend.
12 years ago at 8:30 pmWhoa hoh! Nice one
12 years ago at 8:54 pm+1
12 years ago at 8:55 pmNice contribution, woody page. -3
12 years ago at 1:07 amWtf is this shit??
12 years ago at 1:07 amWe are not worthy of your comedic genius
12 years ago at 1:40 amIt’s ok friends 😉
12 years ago at 12:06 pmDumbass island fuck
12 years ago at 8:30 pmDorn, have you ever used an eclair to snort cocaine? It’s delicious.
12 years ago at 8:41 pmWell yeah, I just assumed we all have.
12 years ago at 8:43 pmSeriously, Job well done on that book. It’s authenticity and “realness” is something more popular humor websites lack. I really hope, it gains a mass audience even outside of the Greek community. When I read it, I couldn’t help but think this is going big thing for comedy.
Now then. Enough of that. Fuck all of you queers.
12 years ago at 1:42 am^*this is going to be the next*
Shit.
12 years ago at 1:43 amKinda concerning?
12 years ago at 8:45 pmDorn! I submitted to be a TFM writer and never heard anything back! Did you guys review my application?
12 years ago at 8:47 pmNobody likes you
12 years ago at 10:31 pmBut I like you Ronnyboy
12 years ago at 10:37 pmSlob on my knob, like corn on the cob. Check in with me, and do your job.
12 years ago at 8:49 pmI killed off a “girlfriend” to get out of a final once… I got busted too. TFTC though.
12 years ago at 9:59 pmTCraigJamesM
12 years ago at 11:21 pm^
12 years ago at 6:34 am^CJK5H
12 years ago at 8:31 pmHe’s a homo and he made up this slam as a beard. Simple.
12 years ago at 10:38 pmIf Steve ever has a beard, we get caught in it.
12 years ago at 11:06 pmbingo
12 years ago at 11:08 pmThis whole situation is just asking for someone to do a column about having a fake girlfriend. Your welcome.
12 years ago at 10:50 pmYou’re. Sorry about that.
12 years ago at 10:50 pm^ Being sorry, NF
12 years ago at 8:01 amThe new comment organization, NF.
12 years ago at 4:02 pm