TFM Awards, Week of September 20
10 years ago

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MVP of the Week: SAS soldier who murked six ISIS militants, saving his squad

When his team was pinned down in a ditch after being ambushed by ISIS militants, one unnamed hero sprinted across a field under a hail of gunfire and took out six of the bastards in just a few minutes. The incredible act of valor allowed the men to escape unharmed.

Douchebag of the Week: Dude who jacked up the price of AIDS meds

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When Martin Shkreli stands near a woman in a crowded bar, she covers the top of her drink with her hand. He also bought the rights to a life-saving AIDS/cancer drug before hiking up the price from $18 to $750, and once offered an ex-girlfriend 10K to go down on her. There’s a line between capitalism and inhumanity, and Shkreli leaped over it. I hope he falls on a gorilla’s dick and gets full-blown AIDS.

After becoming the world’s most hated man over night, Shkreli promised to cut down the price of the drug, though the new price has yet to be specified.

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Shkreli is also a shoo-in for this week’s “Most Likely to Hug A Female Co-Worker Just A Little Too Long.”

Most Duck Faces Made: (TIE) Donald Trump, Sally from Westfield Middle School

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Best “What Are Thooose!?” Video:

A couple months old, but it was everywhere this week.

Most Marijuana Smoked: E-40

Most Lit Track: Pope Francis, “Wake Up! Go! Go! Forward!” from his fire new album, “Wake Up!”

Crusty Sock Award: Bilyalova Sveta

This week, the woman most responsible for the reallocation of blood in my body was Bilyalova Sveta, an Instagram model from Russia.

A photo posted by @svetabily on

A photo posted by @svetabily on

A photo posted by @svetabily on

A photo posted by @svetabily on

Jeee-sus.

Most Likely To Say “Violent Movies Are Just So Scary”: John Boehner

Boehner sobbed uncontrollably throughout his entire term as Speaker of The House, and things were no different when the Pope visited D.C. last week. Boehner also announced his resignation, so of course the water works were in full force.

Good lord, man. Pull yourself together. Props for being a good sport about it, though:

Father of the Week: Rich Homie Quan

The rapper posted a video of himself roasting a jay with his infant son in his lap, who looks like he caught more than a few secondhand whiffs.

Little dude definitely got the munchies and left Miss Homie Quan’s tits bone dry.

Most Corn In One Video: Guy with cornrows eating corn whilst listening to Korn.

Least Fucks Given: Redskins fan wearing red face

While watching his dumpster-fire of a team lose to an equally shitty New York Giants, this bold ‘Skins fan showed his unwavering support by painting his face red. People were pissed.

This jerk in "Redface" is proof positive that the Redskins need to change their name immediately #NFL

A photo posted by Sam Hendel (@hendelsam) on

Best News Tip: This guy.

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Images via YouTube, YouTube, YouTube, YouTube, Shutterstock

      3. Oral Hershiser

        This is why I try to hold off on ^thising and lapping comments until after I’ve read the whole thread.

        10 years ago at 12:10 pm
    1. Sarahpalinsovaries

      Your name/ pic combo makes me laugh and feel disgusted at the same time. High five.

      10 years ago at 8:35 pm
    1. TossMeABronson

      If people are actually pissed that someone showed up on their social media newsfeed wearing red face makeup they have entirely too much time in their hands. Children across the world are starving and being exploited, Christians and homosexuals are being executed for their beliefs and lifestyles, but God forbid: this guy is wearing makeup.

      10 years ago at 8:54 pm
      1. Fratasaurus

        The worst part is that there’s a 9/10 chance that all the SJW’s on social media are going to try to ruin this guy’s life. Be on the lookout for some liberal on the Huffington Post to leak his address in the next week.

        10 years ago at 9:52 pm
    2. fortheGipper

      Do liberals think it is a bad thing for people to wish that their skin had red pigmentation?

      Should people with “red skin” be ashamed of their color?

      Should a man be proud for attaching fake boobs to his chest, but ashamed for painting his face red?

      10 years ago at 9:51 pm
      1. maroonandgold

        You just pointed out the underlying hypocrisy of the PC movement. If it doesn’t fit their agenda, it is the root of all evil. The movement doesn’t really have a foundation because those who subscribe to it say they are tolerant of everything, but wind up being intolerant of everything from religion to men.

        10 years ago at 10:30 pm
  8. ThePatternIsFull

    This week, I learned that “it’s just a good time to get out,” really means “I’m really fucking tired of those damn liberals and all of their shit. I mean, for fucks sake, my own party hates me.” Thanks for that clarification, Soon to be Former Speaker Boehner. Anybody wanna take side bets on how long it takes him to change his party affiliation?

    10 years ago at 7:06 pm
  11. KYDrunkTank

    Sorry but I don’t find painting your body in support of a team as offensive. It’s not like he’s demeaning them at all

    10 years ago at 8:18 pm