Reasons to Day Rage

The last time I day partied with the TFM staff, I ruined the clothes I was wearing, convinced a middle-aged couple at the bar to get divorced, and drank myself mute. And that was a spontaneous 5-person Sunday outing to a local hole in the wall. We just do things the right way is all I’m saying. Look, your studies are wrapping up, your calendar is open, and the weather is making clothing less of a necessity. These things need to be celebrated, and celebrated the right way. What better way to do that than in the hometown of the TFM headquarters? It’s time to gather your friends and make your way to central Austin for the first ever TFM Day Rage, put on by your friends at TotalFratMove.com. If you’re not one of the more fortunate ones that resides in or near central Texas, this is a great time to get in your summer roadie.

TFM Day Rage is a summer kickoff party in the vibrant downtown Austin at the foot of the awesome skyline, and it’s located right next to the famous Austin bar district. After you make your way to the Rage, make the rounds, and establish your presence, it’s almost time to let the ‘80s cover music of LC Rocks melt your face off. If you’re not familiar, these guys play all the greatest hits from the ‘80s seemingly right after stepping out of an old MTV White Snake music video. They bring the house down, too.

“But this party is running nine hours long. Surely LC Rocks isn’t playing the entire time, right? What kind of music are they gonna be playing before they hit the stage?”

Calm down. We got you. I’m very excited to announce DJ Dick Perry will be working the tunes and emceeing before LC Rocks dominates the stage. Yes, THAT Dick Perry. He’s going to be laying the fucking smackdown on the 1s and 2s. From Dick Perry’s mind-altering sounds to LC Rocks’ rage-inducing cover music, to the hundreds of young Americans ready to boil over with excitement, this is just a can’t miss event.

The TFM Day Rage will be like if an LSU tailgate had sex with the Kentucky Derby Infield, then their offspring knocked up a three-day Vegas bender, and then their kid wasn’t allowed to party or booze for like 10 years, then it popped a Viagra and was unleashed on Bourbon Street with 100 grand in cash. It’ll be like that.

It’s TFM Day Rage. Be there. Tickets are on sale now.

  1. This Fuckin Guy

    If you go, you have to wear a sign with your username on it. Shit could get weird.

    13 years ago at 12:50 am
  2. ItJustComesFratural

    Can someone please get Dorn and Bacon drunk enough, make them fight each other, and get it on film so we can finally put the rivalry to rest?

    13 years ago at 11:04 am
    1. OrderontheBorder

      My money is on Bacon, he seems like a greasy fucker so he probably carries a prison shank fashioned from a broken golf club or some shit. Also, he really has nothing to lose the guy hasn’t written a decent column since Sandusky quit showering with all those kids.

      13 years ago at 10:39 am
  3. OldReaux

    Sorry to be negative, but I’m still not convinced that there won’t be an absolutely awful ratio.

    13 years ago at 2:04 pm
    1. Rutherford B_Haze

      ^^ I’m taking the sailboat, but I can arrange for the help to bring the yacht, which is helicopter accessible.

      13 years ago at 2:32 pm