TFM Is Stocking Up On Freelance Writers

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TFM is looking for funny, talented, creative writers to join our freelance writing team and help us take over the world, or at least the internet in the 18-26 demo with a penchant for lowbrow humor. Our readers have been, and always will be, the lifeblood of this site’s success and voice, and we’d like to give you a chance to amplify your own unique voices even more.

If you can blow our minds with your writing ability, you will receive an offer to write for us on a regular basis and get paid U.S. currency.

Why this is a great opportunity for you:

1. The Grandex network attracts millions of monthly visitors. If you want to get your work out there, this is your chance.

2. It’s a very fun way to earn drinking money.

3. If you’re an aspiring journalist, blogger, or writer of any sort, it’s a great way to get your foot in the industry door. Alex Buscemi, aka “Boosh,” got his start with us via this process and is now a full-timer at our Austin office. Full bennies, too.

4. “Contributing Writer for Grandex, Inc” can be a great résumé addition, considering our vast audience. We’ll be happy to provide you with any statistics relating to your published work to include on your résumé.

Here’s how the process works (read carefully):

1. Write an original column, not news piece, with a word count of 500-700 words. If it’s a single word under 500, we aren’t going to bother reading it. Your column should be funny, relatable, on-brand, and, most importantly, your own work. This is your chance to show us how funny and creative you are. Seize the opportunity. If you don’t think it stands out from the pack and blows us away, re-work it until it does. Tip: Don’t try to emulate a current TFM writer’s style or specific piece. Be your own person.

2. Create an account on the site.

3. While logged in, submit the column to the site by clicking “Submit” on the top menu bar, then “Column” on the left menu bar. Paste your column in the text field and submit your work.

4. Include your email address in the title, in parentheses, so we can contact you.

If your column is deemed publish-worthy, you will be contacted by our staff to discuss your future as a potential writer for TFM.

    1. Dillon Cheverere

      We do this twice a year, every year. It’s how we keep the team fresh.

      9 years ago at 8:29 pm
  1. Fratobilly

    Hey dorn I will write you a detailed essay on what i do to your mother every night for free

    9 years ago at 7:51 pm
  2. Strong F. Kennedy

    I’m pretty good at coming up with creative ways of calling people homosexuals. Does that count?

    9 years ago at 8:42 pm
    1. RockyTopBalboa

      Had an English professor bet me $15 I couldn’t come up with more that 25 different terms for prostitute. Came up with 32.

      9 years ago at 5:06 pm
  3. Mark Daniels

    You could just publish my TFM Alumni Weekend columns I submitted a while back. They might not be the greatest pieces of literature but they were fun as hell to write. How about it, Dorn?

    9 years ago at 8:59 pm
  4. Karl Karlson

    Alright Dorno, I’m putting all my cards on the table. I’m a sick son of a bitch with no future. My only skills are drinking too fast and telling off color jokes. I’m good at getting beaten (hey-oh) and literally need a site like this to channel my talents/lack thereof. I shot Bacon a DM and he never said a word. I can make TFM Great Again. Just get at me dude.

    9 years ago at 9:30 pm
  5. RogerMyDorn

    Will the article be posted on TFM because if so, I think my topic choice could possibly lead to my immediate incarceration andor serious backlash from a disgruntled husband.

    9 years ago at 9:31 pm
  6. LouFerrigno

    I left a perfectly good story involving a hooker and my minivan in the comments for you, Dorno.

    9 years ago at 11:29 pm
  7. FuckTuco69

    Am I automatically ineligible due to the fact that my IP Address list of retarted comments on this site is enough to put me on a suspected rapist list?

    9 years ago at 7:12 am