TFM’s Ranking Of The 25 Best College Mascots In The Nation

WJ Cope7 years ago

10. War Eagle – Auburn University

I know I said there would only be one tiger on this list, and that tiger is not punk ass Aubie. While the war eagle isn’t technically the mascot of Auburn, I have to give it a spot on this list anyway. I’m no fan of Auburn, but seeing that eagle fly around the stands just gets me all fired up. It makes for one of the best pregame rituals in all of sports, and that’s enough for it to be in the top ten.

9. Ralphie – University of Colorado

Like Pistol Pete above, CU’s mascot takes the form of one of the symbols of the Wild West. Though buffalo aren’t scattered across thousands of miles of wide-open terrain like they once were, Ralphie is a proud reminder of a time when they dominated the plains. Also, buffalo meet all the criteria in the category of “animals that can easily kill you.”

8. Yosef – Appalachian State University

Yosef is an angry old mountain man, and his name comes from the Appalachian-accented pronunciation of “yourself.” He’s got a beating heart of black and gold, and if he talked, you probably wouldn’t be able to understand a lick of what he said. Mascots like this remind us that America is a very unique country with some very interesting people and places.

7. The Stanford Tree – Stanford University (unofficial)

From what I understand, the Stanford Tree came about at least in part due to Stanford’s inability to find a mascot they liked. It is the embodiment of settling, which is something we can all relate to. Being a fan of a rival Pac-12 team, I’ve always found myself getting pissed off when the stupid tree frolics around the sideline. “Somebody set that fucking tree on fire,” I’ll yell at the television as I sit alone in my living room, no friends to be found. After years of this, I finally realized that it’s the very reaction the tree wants. Well-played.

6. Mike the Tiger – Louisiana State University

Mike is by far the best tiger mascot in college sports, and you can eat dirt if you think otherwise. Does Clemson have a real, live tiger? Hell no. They don’t eat enough jambalaya and crawtators to think that taking care of a tiger is a good idea. Mike is a beautiful, vicious animal that will maul you to death without hesitation. Plus, the team’s “Bayou Bengals” nickname is just crazy enough to be great.

5. The Mountaineer – West Virginia University

The Mountaineer is a fantastic representation of the people of West Virginia. He does just fine living off the fat of the land, and he’ll put a musket right between your eyes if you make so much as one remark about his wife also being his first cousin.

4. Cocky – University of South Carolina

Cocky has everything you want a mascot to have. He’s just cartoonish enough to make you forget how dangerous gamecocks are, which makes him especially lethal. Also, that garnet and black color scheme looks amazing on him. He truly is one of the best in the nation.

3. Uga – University of Georgia

You can honestly make a pretty good case for Uga being number one, but he still has a very high place on this list. We’re on something like Uga XIV at the moment, and each one has been fantastic in their own way. Tune in to any Georgia football game and Uga is going to be nabbing quite a bit of screen time from the actual team. College football really wouldn’t be the same without him.

2. Keggy – Dartmouth College (unofficial)

When I first heard of Keggy, I thought somebody was pulling my leg. Keggy is real, though, whether you like it or not. Keggy really hopes his team will win, but takes it pretty well when they don’t (“win or lose, we still booze,” and all that). From his robust stainless steel body to his wide, shit-faced grin, Keggy’s got it all.

1. Brutus Buckeye – Ohio State University

When I hear the phrase “college football mascot,” I think of Brutus. First appearing on Ohio State’s campus in 1965, Brutus has been holding it down on the sidelines ever since. The team might not be doing as hot as they were hoping lately, and anyone who says “THE Ohio State University” makes me hope they perish in a trash fire, but none of that takes away from the respect I have for Brutus. He’s the best there is..

Image via Wikimedia Commons