Thanks To Iowa Fans, We Now Know It Is Possible To Drink A Bar Out Of Beer

iowa

Iowa lost a heartbreaker to Michigan State Saturday night. Watching their perfect season fall to the shocking second-effort touchdown by Michigan State’s LJ Scott hurt. It was different to watch the game from my perspective, though. I was sober. Sitting on my ass and shoveling handfuls of Fritos into my mouth was quite the opposite of what most Iowa fans were doing at the time.

If the reports are accurate, many of them should’ve been struggling to stand upright. Now, that’s not always a horrible problem to have when your team goes down in that fashion, but the amount of alcohol they allegedly drank before the game even began is quite impressive.

We saw worries that LSU fans would drink Syracuse dry earlier this season. Those fears never materialized, but Iowa fans weren’t afraid to go all in, and they literally depleted the largest stock of beer in the city of Indianapolis before their game even began.

Only 200 cases? Fucking amateurs. It’s not surprising, though. Iowa invaded and soaked up any alcohol in their general vicinity.

If you’re not impressed by that, you haven’t spent much time in a bar. As a professional degenerate, I can attest that drinking out a bar’s entire supply of beer is no small achievement. And, sadly, after the game Saturday, that’s the only achievement the Hawkeyes will be bringing back to Iowa City.

Image via Twitter

      1. Captain Frostymug

        “As an Iowan” still can translate to “As an American” so I don’t think it’s sad at all.

        10 years ago at 10:46 am
  1. Texas Tux and Oil

    That’s not even 2 pallets of beer, fraternities have made larger purchases than that at Sam’s clubs.

    10 years ago at 9:44 am
  2. TheFratTwin

    Title of article was more exciting than the article itself.

    3/10 wouldn’t read again

    10 years ago at 9:46 am
  3. Tailhook

    This is why my old ship isn’t allowed in Vladivostok anymore. Goddamn Commies.

    10 years ago at 9:54 am
  4. Texan_Brolo

    That’s it, a single bar? Sigs usually make the whole town go dry when BLTW comes around!

    10 years ago at 10:36 am
  5. FRATTYBOY

    Reminds me of when WSU fans ran every keg dry at an Auburn bar before the opener in 2013. Go cougs.

    10 years ago at 11:11 am