That High School Dork That Was Denied By Kate Upton Landed A MUCH Hotter Prom Date Instead

*****Update with prom photos*****

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Bonus video:

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Remember this dweeb from YouTube who put the screws to Kate Upton by very publicly asking her to his high school prom?

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Here is the original story we ran and here is Jake’s YouTube video if you need a refresher. I just watched it again, and it still makes me sick to my stomach. Kid needs a noogie/wedgie combo like I’ve never given before.

“Jake Davidson here in sunny Los Angeles…”

Roger Dorn here in hot-as-hell Austin, TX, and fuck you, Jake Davidson!

So, Kate, after giving Jake a soft commitment to attend prom with him, eventually said no, or actually, she “couldn’t fit it in her schedule.” Obviously, right? Anyone who ever thought there was a remote possibility of Kate toting those bosomy gifts from God through a high school dance floor was kidding themselves. Those little high school pervs would’ve been rocking little high school boners all night and the line to the men’s room would never have dipped below 75 dudes deep.

“Down goes Jake,” we snickered. “Another nerd bites the dust,” we all thought. Well, fuck that kid. Fuck Jake. Why fuck Jake? Fuck Jake because he actually is going to prom with a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model. And the worst part of it is, this one is like a thousand times hotter than Kate Upton.

It’s Nina Agdal, a brunette, Danish bombshell that was named Rookie of the Year from this year’s Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue.

ABC News has the coverage:

The line to the bathroom would have been down the hall if Upton was attending, but now, with this Agdal chick, they may have to order about 30 emergency port-a-johns to line up outside the venue.

[via ABC News]

Images via Instagram

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  1. Blackout Brad

    Take solace in the fact that this kid will still be a virgin at the end of the night.

    12 years ago at 11:51 pm
  2. Alpha_Delta_Thighs

    It’s like the kid hit an easy pop fly and the outfielder dropped it. This should not happen.

    12 years ago at 3:57 am
  3. frAUtstar

    But did he close the deal?? Anyone can just take a SI Swimsuit model to prom but if you’re still using your hand at the end of the night what difference does it make??

    12 years ago at 8:34 am
  4. GodHatesPoors

    There should be a record amount of hand holding at this prom……Fuck you Jake

    12 years ago at 11:55 am
  5. Tallapoosa Snu

    When I heard them refer to her as that kid’s “rebound date” I wanted to punch a hole through the screen.

    12 years ago at 12:06 pm
  6. Roadkill Rager

    50 bucks says this kid tries to make a move and gets sued. Or he has to sign some contract saying that he won’t touch her ASSets.

    12 years ago at 2:16 pm