The 10 Fantasy Football Commandments

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The fall always brings significantly more distractions than the spring. Fantasy football is one of those distractions that cannot be overlooked. Whether it’s the fraternity league or DFS to support your daily consumption habit, fantasy football is a large part of most of our lives.

It’s too early in the preseason to start a fantasy draft, so we present you with TFM’s ironclad commandments for the 2016 Fantasy Football season:

1. Thou Shalt Not Commit to A Fun-Only League

Is fantasy football fun? Absolutely. Should you play it purely for fun? Hell no. If you’re going to commit a decent amount of time to research and attend a draft, make it worth your while and try to win some money. Everyone takes it seriously and no one loses interest.

2. Thou Shalt Not Come to a Draft Unprepared

Act like you’ve been there before. We understand commitment may not be your forte, but it’s crucial to at least have a breakdown of players you favor throughout the year.

3. Thou Shalt Not Get Shitfaced for Your Draft

It’s fine to have a few beers (or an occasional funnel), but at no point should you be incoherent. Your league mates will convince you it’s a good idea to draft four kickers or that Brett Favre is making a second comeback.

4. Thou Shalt Not Have a Definitive Draft Strategy

There’s a difference between researching the proper players that you think will make an impact versus going into a draft claiming “I’m only going to draft using the Zero RB strategy!”

It’s impossible to know how your draft order will align or what players taken prior to your pick are going to be selected, so always be willing to pivot on the fly.

5. Thou Shalt Not Commit to a League That Is Anything Other Than Auction-Style Drafts

It’s easy to say yes to joining a standard or PPR League, but it provides little to no difficulty when it comes to actual draft strategy. Auction-style drafts are the most representative of building and managing an actual team. Everything else is bush league.

After the draft, you’ll need to be engaged on the waiver wire throughout the entire regular season to stay competitive. If you don’t have the time for the waiver wire, consider playing in an MFL10 League.

6. Thou Shalt Not Be Afraid to Trade Thy Players

Drafting a great team isn’t enough. In order to win in fantasy (by the way, that’s your ultimate goal) you must consistently improve your team. Don’t be afraid to trade often and trade big — as long as it makes your team better.

7. Love Thy Favorite Fantasy Advice Sites

There’s nothing wrong with following the fantasy advice of your favorite website or podcast. But beware, there is a lot of bad advice out there. It’s better to stick with one source that you trust than to listen to multiple sources. Too much different advice and you’ll start and second guessing both yourself and your lineup.

8. Accept Thy Losses Without Excuses

No matter how stacked your lineup may be, losing in fantasy football is inevitable. But some guys just can’t accept defeat. You have to. Get over it and move on. The quicker you do, the better the roster you’ll select from week to week.

9. Thou Shalt Not Spend An Entire Bankroll in a Single Week

With daily fantasy sites like Draftkings and FanDuel, it can be almost too easy to join multiple Head-to-Head games as well as Guaranteed Prize Pools.

Your rule of thumb for DFS should be to refrain from burning more than 10 percent of your total bankroll with an 80/20 rule. 80 percent of your money should be invested in either Head-to-Head, 50/50s, or Double Up tournaments. Only commit 20 percent of your weekly bankroll towards GPPs.

10. Thou Shall Draft a Kicker or DEF ONLY with Thy Last Two Picks

Just don’t do it. Both positions are completely unpredictable, so taking a risk on some late-round fliers is much more optimal for success than wasting those picks on uncertainty.

Remember, fantasy football is a competition, and like any competition, it takes time to become great. Put in the work — it provides the ultimate advantage when shit-talking your friends.

Image via YouTube

  1. InternationalFratStudent

    I was expecting so much more from that.. I want my 5 minutes back

    9 years ago at 5:33 pm
  2. 11. If you’re hosting the draft line up some Tri-Delt pledge sticker bitches. Tell ’em it’s for charity

    9 years ago at 5:46 pm
  3. TheHazeologist

    Dorn has Ten Commandments for his favorite type of fantasy. “Thou shall not have a threesome with two boys” “thou shall not wear clothes in the ball pit at chuckie cheese”

    9 years ago at 5:50 pm
  4. BobMotherFuckingBarker

    Drafting Brady in the 13th round last year before his suspension got revoked was one of the greatest decisions I’ve ever made

    9 years ago at 6:20 pm
    1. WaiverWarrior

      Definitely a solid move. You can probably grab him in the 8-10 round range this season as well.

      9 years ago at 6:30 pm
      1. MikeFratdano

        Draft Bell and Gordon too and just pray you win 1 or 2 the first four weeks.

        9 years ago at 9:46 pm
  5. FatMattsAtBat

    Thou shalt not play with kickers or defenses (excepting IDP) because this isn’t amateur hour…

    9 years ago at 8:54 pm
  6. Cory_and_Trevor

    Don’t draft a QB early, assuming you start one qb. Theres more than enough to go around, a lot of people dont realize shit qbs like Jay cutler put up almost the same fantasy scores as guys who go early on in the draft. Rodgers is worth a relatively early pick, but other than that wait till way later

    9 years ago at 11:20 pm
    1. WaiverWarrior

      Preach! I could never justify spending such an early pick on a position that only accounts for 10% of your total points each week.

      9 years ago at 7:32 am
  7. RoyTinCup

    The most satisfyingly tense situation of fantasy is waiting for an opponent to accept a trade that is most certainly trade rape.

    9 years ago at 11:48 pm
    1. WaiverWarrior

      It’s really My Christmas morning. There’s nothing better than praying on the weak in fantasy.

      9 years ago at 7:31 am