The 10 Frattest College Football Coaches

Dan Mullen

 

What’s up, assholes? I’m known for an absurd amount of foul language on the practice field. Do I care? No, not at all. My house has an elevator on the second floor. That’s right, the second floor. Sometimes I rage so hard at my bar upstairs that I literally can’t take the stairs down to my own room. I have zero respect for that school up north. In fact, I’ll probably never call them by their actual name. The only thing red and blue in my life is the American flag. I successfully paved my son’s college football career by naming him Canon. You’re welcome world.

    1. ScionoftheSouthland

      I agree with everything said. Mark Richt is a tool and CPJ belongs at the top of this list.

      13 years ago at 9:56 am
    2. EQK

      Also Paul Johnson coaches under the legacy of two other great fratstars, John Heisman and Bobby Dodd. Legacies, always FAF.

      13 years ago at 10:41 am
    3. BROwnOutOfProportion

      And Paul Johnson doesn’t care that his all time record will never be as good as Mark Richt’s, nor will he ever have a winning record against UGA. Fuck Tech.

      13 years ago at 11:27 am
    4. Fratological Studies

      ^^ Cool story bro. Must be fun having top-ranked recruiting classes and 6-7 seasons. What’s more satisfying is having classes ranked in the 40s and 50s and making BCS games, because you have a coach who’s worth a damn.

      13 years ago at 1:09 pm
    5. Phi Mu Til I Die

      Agreed. Paul Johnson needs to be on this list. Mark Richt wearing dog tags is a gay reason.

      13 years ago at 2:29 pm
    6. BROwnOutOfProportion

      ^^Cool story, bro. What’s Tech’s all time record against UGA again? 39 wins, 60 losses? As far as Richt goes, his overall record is 96-34 in the strongest conference in college football, including two SEC championships and being 7-3 in bowl games. What is Paul Johnson’s? 133-52, 2-5 in bowl games. And he hasn’t even coached in a strong conference. Know your fucking football, Techie.

      13 years ago at 2:33 pm
    7. Fratersby

      Scientifically proven fact: Mark Richt is a pussy bitch.

      I don’t normally talk shit on the internet, but when I do, its about the Georgia bulldogs.

      13 years ago at 2:43 pm
    8. Too Frat Too Furious

      Second everything said here. Mark Richt is a GDI spray tanned bitch, CPJ is a legitimate fraternity man.

      13 years ago at 7:28 pm
    9. SigmaZoo1966

      While UGA is much frattier than GT Paul Johnson is much frattier than Mark Richt. This article is about the coaches themselves, not the schools.

      13 years ago at 2:20 pm
    1. c_stat_FRAT

      Really missed on Bob Stoops. The guy has been wearing his white OU frat visor for more than a decade now.

      13 years ago at 4:33 pm
  1. SEC frat star

    Thank god there’s no SEC bias going on here….

    Agreed with most. Kiffin is a complete douche who got hazed by Urban Meyer for speaking out while still pledging the SEC…. but continuing to get hired to better jobs without accomplishing anything is pretty frat.

    13 years ago at 9:11 am
    1. USS Hazer

      It sure ain’t “fratter than fuck” to get all butt hurt just because a coach wanted his dream job rather than be stuck in Knoxville. You kids are a bunch of crying little pussies. Not to mention, you called for the head of, and fired Phil Fulmer, who spent 20+ years at your school. Then you have the nerve to call Lane Kiffin (who I give zero fucks about) a traitor after he’s there for a year. No wonder Knoxville’s a shit hole.

      13 years ago at 10:05 am
    2. inFRATry

      Lane Kiffin is literally the biggest GDI in college football. He doesn’t care about tradition, has no loyalty to his brothers, and isnt successful (2-15 with raiders) (7-4 with UT [a traditional powerhouse]) and (around .500 with USC [another traditional powerhouse). How can you coach 2 very historically great schools and have near losing records at both? As said before LK will burn in hell for his treason.

      13 years ago at 11:34 am
  2. Sherwood Blount

    Howard Schnellenberger…..probably raged harder than anyone in the 80’s in Miami. Booze, blow, and mustache rides.

    13 years ago at 9:26 am
  3. fratanomics

    I doubt Mark Richt is actually “yielding” that M-16, possibly wielding though. I would knock Richt down and toss Schnellenberger up top. Just my two cents though.

    13 years ago at 9:40 am
    1. USS Hazer

      Ha ha, have a good time going 6-7 this year. If you’re lucky you’ll get to lose to Toledo in the PapaJohns.com Bowl. Cry Baby

      13 years ago at 1:20 pm
    1. Dan Mullen

      Dan Mullen refusing to say O** M***. Only referring to them as TSUN. and marrying a hot ex Golf Channel reporter. TFM

      13 years ago at 8:47 pm