The 15 Best Bodies From The Spring Break Photo Contest
11 years ago

Blah blah contest. Blah blah prizes. I was told the only way I could make this list is if I also promoted the 2014 TFM Spring Break Photo Contest somewhere in here, so boom, consider it promoted. The contest is good for one thing and one thing only: the señoritas.

Oh cool, dude. You’re bonging a beer on the beach. We’re all so grateful you submitted this photo of you and your boys shotgunning beers in the surf. Move your stupid ass because you’re blocking that girl behind you. Jackass. Move your fraternity flag, guys. It’s in the way of some bare tits. Idiots.

Anyway, here are the best bodies from the contest, in no particular, except the last one, because she’s perfect and I’m in love and I’ll cut your ass if you disagree.

CHECK OUT THE FULL CONTEST AND SUBMIT YOUR OWN PHOTOS HERE

He's underage and under a fine piece of work.
He’s underage and under a fine piece of work.
Nice bodies on the bookends here, but oh look, some stupid flag is covering the rest of them.
Nice bodies on the bookends here, but oh look, some stupid flag is covering most of them.
yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes
yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes
You on the right, I like your butt.
You on the right, I like your butt.
Starts off hot in the middle, then cools down as we move outside.
Starts off hot in the middle, then cools down as we move outside.
Just real nice, Clark.
Just real nice, Clark.
I like your butt, too.
I like your butt, too.
I've seen the sailboat-less version. They're the real deal Holyfield.
I’ve seen the sailboat-less version. They’re the real deal Holyfield.
Just kidding. I was hungry when I made this list.
Just kidding. I was hungry when I made this list.
The kid's stupid fucking face almost ruins this one.
The kid’s stupid fucking face almost ruins this one.
yes, yes, yes, yes, YESSSSS
yes, yes, yes, yes, YESSSSS
Bitch face + tight body. Come at me.
Bitch face + tight body. Come at me.
Can't see your face. Don't even care.
Can’t see your face. Don’t even care.
Your butt looks fun.
Your butt looks fun.
Mrs. Smutster.
Mrs. Smutster.

CHECK OUT THE FULL CONTEST AND SUBMIT YOUR OWN PHOTOS HERE

  7. Floyd Hazeweather

    “Starts off hot in the middle, then cools down as we move outside”

    That’s the kind of hard-hitting critical analysis we need, sir. Well done.

    11 years ago at 4:58 pm
  11. OneRowdyGentlemen

    I would dunk my balls in a blender just to toss Mrs. Smutster’s salad.

    11 years ago at 5:03 pm
    1. ForresterSig

      I’d take a cheese grater to your balls for a chance to hear her fart through a walkie-talkie.

      11 years ago at 5:27 pm
      1. PlotTwist

        really everyone? I thought that was pretty funny. You wouldnt put his balls to a cheese grater, regardless of whether you heard her fart through a walkie talkie?

        11 years ago at 3:41 am