The 2016 Fraternity All-Name Team
It’s no secret that fraternities showcase the most high-class names that our great country has to offer. And, thanks to our families’ storied heritages and the almost hilarious rampancy of nepotism we were born into, we can be sure that fraternities will remain a wealthy bastion of preppy names until the liberals finally win and destroy our hallowed bonds of fraternal organization once and for all (so, in effect, forever).
Here is the 2016 Fraternity All-Name Team, arranged in terms of fraternity hierarchy.
- Jackson Monroe
- Carlton S. Hanson
- James Q. Pennyweight
- John Edward “Jack” Hennessey III
- Remington Muzzleworth
- Kennedy Washington
- Campbell Phipps
- Preston Ashmont
- Harrison Bentley
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- Tucker Alexander Carrington IV
- Chustin Charles Chambers
- T. Jameson Beauregard
- Johnny Powerfade
- Todd Boatright
- Burt Stuff
- Montgomery Bullworth XII
- P. Parks Parker
- Richard “Dick” Dipper
- Davis Jefferson
- V. Hardy Stump
- Robert E. Pee
- Anderson W. Martin IV
- Martin M. Anderson VI
- Kenneth Whiskeydick
- Edward P. Fuck
- Bud Weiserbier
- Ronald Rambottom
- Walter Nigel Prominence V
- Ken Tucker Derby
- Risk Manager: Burt Control
- Sergeant-at-Arms: Carlboro Redds
- Historian: Trip Von Trap IV
- Secretary: Guy Fratz
- Treasurer: Augustus National
- Vice President: Cash Hazington
- President: Reagan Bush LXXXIV (84).
Does one of your fraternity brothers have a name worthy of being on this list? Send a photo of his composite picture to jared@totalfratmove.com
Ehh….
10 years ago at 4:07 pmThat was pretty shitty. “Burt Stuff”
10 years ago at 4:08 pmStill better than any of the names you guys picked as your “Frat Names.”
10 years ago at 4:10 pm“Bacon,” great job Rob
Brantford Winstonworth
10 years ago at 4:18 pmFuck You.
10 years ago at 4:21 pmNo frockington?
10 years ago at 4:24 pmfrockington has to be an alum by now…or a 6th year at least.
10 years ago at 4:40 pmYeah but unlike you he wasnt a bottom tier clemson loser so his post grad life is probably decent
10 years ago at 5:36 pmPray for Gamefrock.
10 years ago at 5:46 pmWhy, he goes to an sec school. More like pray for all your buddies who have girlfriends at USC that are getting plowed by his top tier luxurious rich expensive alpha frock
10 years ago at 9:48 pmYou’re annoying as shit and not funny or clever. Why are you wasting your time with this shtick?
10 years ago at 10:10 pmWhy would Cash Hazington not be Treasurer?
10 years ago at 4:26 pmThis is made up. I googled ‘Edward P Fuck’ and there’s no one by that name in the U.S.
10 years ago at 4:28 pmIt took you that long to realize it was fake??
10 years ago at 4:47 pmWill you please go join ISIS and become a suicide bomber
10 years ago at 5:06 pmEven ISIS doesn’t deserve to listen to the stupid shit kegatron says
10 years ago at 5:52 pmBut googling Edward P Fuck did turn up this gem, if you’re into long-form pornography.
10 years ago at 6:45 pmhttp://www.thewriterscoffeeshop.com/library/stories/7216/10183.txt
Pretty sure he’s part of George Clinton’s band the P Fuck all stars
10 years ago at 5:21 pmThis was honestly the worst thing I’ve ever read. I really want to roundhouse kick your fucking head.
10 years ago at 5:05 pmI really want to roundhouse kick Santa’s sack there
10 years ago at 9:01 amMcCoy?!
10 years ago at 6:46 pm