The 4 Worst Kinds Of Shots
11 years ago

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Everybody knows taking shots is a terrible (but awesome) idea, but there are some shots that are worse than others. Here’s a list of the worst ones, and why they will make you feel worse than an Afghani bomb shelter after a rain of Hellfire missiles.

Rumplemintz

Lord help you if someone passes you a shot of Rumplemintz. If you’ve ever wanted to know what blowing Santa Claus would be like, this is the shot for you. Sure, putting Rumplemintz in hot chocolate or some other drink when it’s freezing outside is a good idea, but once you take it as a shot, game over. I’m sure the people who made this stuff didn’t expect functioning alcoholics to turn this into a shot at the bar, but hey, that’s their fault. It’s thick, syrupy (again, think blowing Santa Claus) makes that taste stay with you all night long, leading you take shots of something even worse, which leads to…

Fireball

If you thought Rumplemintz was bad, you’ve never taken a shot of Fireball. Fireball is like the idiot cousin who decided to just start throwing other stuff into a Rumplemintz shot. I’m pretty sure that taking a shot of this opens up a pit in the floor that you’re on and will send you straight to hell. If you’re one of the lucky ones that even Satan thinks you’re twisted and avoid that fate, you will be greeted with a hangover that will make you cry literal fire out of your eyes. If you thought that was bad though, you have never taken a shot of…

Flavored Vodka

If any of your friends ever hands you a shot of flavored vodka, you should get new friends. If that’s not an option, and you take the shot because you don’t turn down alcohol, you’re in for an unpleasant surprise. I would rather tickle an elephant’s prostate than ever take a shot of any kind of flavored vodka. Regardless of what girls tell you, there are no shots of flavored vodka that taste good. The added flavors make it taste even worse than regular vodka (which I thought was impossible), and will make you feel like somebody dumped an entire truck of spoiled skittles in your math. But just be glad your friends didn’t give you…

Tequila

Tequila. The Granddaddy of Them All (no, not the Rose Bowl, you Pac-12 and Big Ten morons). This is the shot that you always let you know know your night will end up in some ridiculous fashion. Personally, I like taking tequila shots before horse races so that I can channel my inner jockey and pretend like I know things when gambling on horses, but I’m sick and twisted like that. Whether it’s the combination of tequila and whatever else other people start giving you, or if you’re just taking tequila shots alone, the next morning will be hell as your head feels like it got run over by a train and you have a quality run-in with Montezuma’s revenge.

So, next time you decide to go out to the bar, you’re probably going to take at least one of these shots, but just know that the next day you’ll feel worse than you would have if you had gone to a Nickelback or Bieber concert.

    3. chrtsmal

      If you like Fireball. Make a half a shot of Fireball and half a shot of 100 proof Southern Comfort. That’s what you call a Hell Shot!

      11 years ago at 5:56 pm
  3. pgbrad2

    This post is dumb, and I would like for you to provide your acceptable shots to take? I’m guessing you are going to go the manly route and say bourbon, right? I couldn’t think of a more GDI thing to do than to shoot bourbon. Bourbon is to be tasted and savored, sip it neatly like your username.

    11 years ago at 12:19 pm
  4. Rihanna Deserved It

    4 worse shots:
    cement mixer- 151, baileys, lime juice. it has the consistency of pudding and tastes like gasoline
    jet fuel- jager, 101 wild turkey, jose, rumplemintz.
    gin
    everclear

    11 years ago at 12:20 pm
      1. Raise Hell

        José isn’t part of a four horsemen shot. The last one is Jameson, educate yourself…

        11 years ago at 9:34 pm
      2. TexasCP

        José Cuervo is for the latin four horsemen, or should I say “los cuatro jinetes.”

        11 years ago at 5:45 pm
      3. RockyTopBlonde

        Actually this shot minus Jose is Three Wise Men. What you listed is Three Wise Men Go to Mexico, aka RockyTopBlonde is about to throw up on a cop car and get sent to standards.

        11 years ago at 9:45 pm
    3. tequilatuesdays

      Try doing a la muerte. One shot of gin, one shot of whiskey, one shot of tequila, one shot absinthe, and then shotgun a beer.

      11 years ago at 8:25 pm
      1. Rihanna Deserved It

        i see why the english translation of that is “the death”.. that sounds terrible

        11 years ago at 4:12 pm